New York – Ever Wonder What Our Children Are Thinking When Hooligans Succeed

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    New York – Imagine that you and your spouse decided to treat yourselves to a high-end cruise for your fiftieth anniversary. Never having done this before, you are blown away by the luxurious setting and are thoroughly enjoying every moment.

    In your information packet, you were informed to dress formally for dinner on the first evening of the cruise, so you put on the best clothing from your closet and make your way to the ballroom.

    While eating the main dish, someone on the next table keeled over clutching his heart as he fell. A friend of his immediately stood up and yelled, “Is there a doctor in the house?” Almost immediately, a group of waiters and cruise employees sprung into action. But their response was not what you thought it would be.

    The cruise operator quickly walked over to the band leader and told him to raise the volume of the music to drown out the commotion generated by the heart attack. Several waiters surrounded the individual who was calling for the doctor. They admonished him for disturbing the ambiance of the formal dinner and physically removed him from the ballroom. While this was happening, another group of cruise employees carried the stricken man out of the ballroom and into one of the empty conference rooms nearby. Instead of canvassing the ballroom for a doctor, they asked one of their associate chefs who took a CPR class several years ago to assist the patient, who slips into a coma and dies shortly thereafter.

    Well; that imaginary story pretty much sums up the horrific tale of Dr. Twerski’s harassment at the hands of morally bankrupt individuals which led to his resignation from a panel being formed to – responsibly and in a Torah-appropriate manner – initiate measures to finally start protecting our precious children from the predators in our community.

    Reb Benzion is the guy who was forcibly removed from the ballroom so as not to ruin the party. And the fellow with the heart attack represents the innocent, voiceless children in our community who are victims of abuse and molestation.

    Back to the story, if I may. Imagine again that you are the couple celebrating their anniversary on the cruise ship. How comfortable would you be after that episode, seeing firsthand that form ruled over substance? That people who called out for help were silenced. That professionally trained individuals who could have perhaps saved the victim’s life were not asked to help him. What would you think of the cruise operator who made those decisions? Would you continue on that cruise or would you get off at the next stop? How comfortable would you be that you would be treated properly if you had severe chest pains?

    I ask you to put yourself in the place of our very street-smart teenagers who have immediate access to all the swirls of information and are drawing their own conclusions. What message are we sending them when we allow hooligans to silence a wonderful individual like Dr. Twerski who has dedicated his life to keeping them safe?

    Is it any wonder that so many of our kids are heading for the exits when we show them that their safety is not our paramount concern?

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    28 COMMENTS

    1. The moral of this “parable” is totally unrelated to the issue at hand. There is no proof at all that molestors have free reign with our children. If there was any substantial evidence (of which ther is none) on these people, nobody would have told Dr. Twersky to keep quiet. The point of silencing him was only because his method of dealing (publicizing all of this) is frowned upon by people that know better than him.

    2. LET’S SEE A MASSIVE KOL KOREH DEMANDING HIS RE-INSTATEMENT!!!

      Then we’ll know which Rabbonim back him etc.

      As President Bush said (9/11) “You’re either with us OR against us”. Whichever Rabbonim are NOT on the list, will have to answer us, the public, why not.

    3. Vos IZ Neias Is there anything we can do???

      Seriously we should open a Magazine or something and distribute it all over with large Kiddush Levanah letters that WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!

      Maybe we should open a forum to share ideas. Open blogs. Open groups, Open open open open so this whole problem should be opened up and dealt with.

    4. We don’t deserve better we let these hooligans run our community( the eruv,Lipa,Dicci) we don’t stand up to them so why should Rabbi Twerski stand up to them. The problem is its our kids that suffer cause of it I guess most ppl really don’t care about there kids they r more worried at there standing

    5. I dont beleive that these problems exist for a very simple reason, there are apparantly hundreds of cases of molestation. Besides a couple of stories where are the lawsuits? Where are the parents of these children going to court and filing criminal charges? Are you telling me every single one of these hundreds of cases were silenced by the beis din? I know that if this would happen to my kid I would go to Bais Din then if they didnt do anything I would go straight to the police. Where are all these kids and parents and how come they havnt broken it wide open? If a rebbi in a scholl would do this to my kid I would take out a full page as in the paper and expose him and his school for what they did. Let one person put his kids shidduchim at risk to save all the rest by exposeing publicly. If they cant do that (not even one) then they arnt victims, they are part of the problem

    6. kids…Everybody wants them but can’t wait to leave them evening after evening for social events. People have to build huge homes to jeopardize their tuition payments because otherwise we’d have to share space with our children. Our schools in desperation solicit money which was not earned in accordance with halacha, thereby further diminishing the quality of our education. Car seats, bike helmets and general safety standards are too “goyish” and it’s crazy to be bothered by eating healthy. No, raising the next generation seems to be one of our lowest priorities.

    7. If a group of parents in a yeshiva get together and draw up a plan that if someone suspects that that their child has been molested,there is a parent that they can call and the parent body as a group will be notified if a yeshiva staff member is suspect. The parents as a group can keep an eye on the situation, speak to the yeshiva hanhalah, coach the children on what to do, and call the police if necessary. Waiting for rabbonim to do something is fruitless. Because many rabbonim don’t have internet or read the papers, some do not even know that such a problem exists, nor do they believe it. These are the same rabbonim that are oblivious to most of the problems in the frum world. Theirs is a world of learning and they often don’t relate to anything else.

    8. well said. now let’s see some action. does anyone know if rabbi horowitz is still affiliated with agudah israel of america?

      if he is- this is a nice step in the right direction.

    9. anon 1:45 Maybe some people don’t want their stories “out there”. It’s sad but look at the long run, families will be embarrassed and it may effect a potential shidduch. Yes, every one should come forward, but don’t assume that allegations are untrue because people don’t have the will to admit it.

    10. WOW, WOW, WOW.

      As someone who was molested at the age of 9-10 in camp, I never told anyone for years.

      How you can say these things never happened because we don’t have proof, just WOW.

      When I finally told some people close to me about it in my early teens, it was brushed aside and I was told to “move on”.

    11. Here is a question I would like to post to our wonderful panel. Your child comes home and tells you that the rabbi or teacher or anyone in his school touched him on his private parts. Do you sit idle and wait to talk to the “ hanholah” or do you make a report at your local Pct. and photograph the detectives leading him out in handcuffs?

      If a child feels that he can’t speak to his parents you have a problem right there. Today’s kids are way more advances then when we were children and I’m sure they can reach out to their local Rav of the Shule that he davens.

    12. I don’t understand why the parents of the victims don’t take the law into their own hands. It’s not that difficult in this day and age to get a message across.

    13. Anon 3:26

      Most children are too embarrassed and ‘feel guilty’ or ‘that I deserved it’ to tell their Rabbi, after all it was a respectable and responsible person who already did the act.

      They loose faith in all responsible people.

      The perpetrator depends on that first step of human behavior as his-her shield and tries to pick a child who is already vulnerable and has ‘busy parents’..

      Unless your child trusts you and tells you immediately – they bottle it in – and let you know later – when it explodes inside.

      There is a problem in the Jewish world – we are sensitive to what the “YENTA NETWORK” will say instead of defending our children.

      And there are these Tznius hooligans who must be ostracized.

    14. Expecting a child to speak with his “parents” is mistake #1.

      WHY?

      Because often they start befriending a child with no fathe rat home or family going through a crisis, so there is no father with time to chap what is going on.

    15. 09-11-2008 – 7:20 PM – your 100% right but it happens in many good homes too, good home often have bad relatives or members.

      The main reason kids do not tell thier parents is because they have feelings of intense shame and guilt, the nature of a child is to blame him/her self for anything bad that happens.

    16. I see many say if word get out it will effect the sidduch. But why, what did the child do, nothing he was a victim. and by having an atmosphere that it will effect the shiduch just add the the shame of the child.

      funny, I do not see people saying the about L.P children. Or even if a young bocher was charged convicted of bank fraud my guess would be most of the frum world would choose as a son in law the bank fruad bocher over a bocher who was molested at a young age. I hope I am guessing wrong.

    17. When my children were very young my husband and I started telling them that their bodies are their own and that nobody – even their rebbe or principal – can ever touch them – and that if somebody does – they can always come to us and that we would ALWAYS believe them. If you ingrain this in your child from a very young age and let them know that abusers try to convince children that it is their fault – but that you know it is not – then you have provided your child a measure of protection against these predators. When my son heard of a boy who was abused and was embarrassed to say something to his parents, my son was astounded as to why this child – a victim – would think he did anything wrong or had anything to be embarrassed about – because we had conveyed the message that a child who is abused can never be blamed for anything! Eash school should have an assembly on the first day of each school year for each class – and this message should be conveyed to the children. Empowering your child with information is the first step against stopping this kind of abuse. I am not saying that a child who has information will not be abused – but at least they won’t fall for abuser’s line that they it is their own fault and that they should be ashamed. .

    18. wait til dov hikind releases the names

      then there can just be some flash mobs that take care of the situation

      as Rabbi Horowitz wrote– why is the guy selling treyfe chickens running for his life and these animals are not!

    19. Let us hopeDov will release the name of these molestors and the police will catch those who threatened Rabbi Twersky.Rabbi Horowitz is a tsadik and I am glad you printed his article

    20. Some of you make NO SENSE at all. Please write in normnal English and say something that is serious and sensible.THIS IS ADDRESSED TO YOU_– the sidduch. But why, what did the child do, nothing he was a victim. and by having an atmosphere that it will effect the shiduch just add the the shame of the child.

      _–

      funny, I do not see people saying the about L.P children. Or even if a young bocher was charged convicted of bank fraud my guess would be most of the frum world would choose as a son in law the bank fruad bocher over a bocher who was molested at a young age. I hope I am guessing wrong

    21. This is terribly sad to read, I am a victim myself and the same thing happened to me. My father “Rosh yeshiva” molested me for 5 years and very few believed me. His followers threatened every person that tried to give me a helping hand and destroyed their life. My father beat my Principal to be half blind (one eye) and injured his family and a newborn baby (his grandchild) everyone was so scared to help me that I was wandering the streets homeless till I had nowhere to go and go right back into the devils hands. Till today I feel so bad for all the people that got hurt by my father and his fanatic followers.

      I am not religious anymore and I live a peaceful life, I respect anyone that lives a righteous honest life. Do know though, things of this nature drive your youth away from your community, no one helps them to be safe, and if anyone does, they get terribly hurt …. So we have to go look for outside help and that is what I did after being molested approx 200 days a year for 5 years by my own father and I managed to survive and stay sane by the very few brave people that didn’t care to go through hell to help me as a 15 year old girl and assisted me to go to secular courts. THANK YOU SO MUCH, I know what you have been through!

      Just FYI, my father is still roaming the streets of Monsey, with 6 of my dear siblings  3 of them girls … all six brainwashed, all six destroyed … this pervert and child molester that should be punished is covering his life under the big brimmed hat and shtreimel with white socks on Saturday …. I cry for my broken siblings and every victim every day of my life….

      Its positive to see that the large part of you recognizes this as a huge problem, do get together and help your innocent children and for those who protect the molesters, either you are ignorant and would understands only if it happens to your child or you must have a history or are an active molester yourself … or maybe you are not human ….

      My stubborn heart and mind survived, though after much reading and therapy later on in life, I got to learn that the following happens to many of the victims:

      Suicide

      Depression

      Mentally ill

      Failed marriages

      Prostitution or sex addicts

      …become molesters later on in life

      Do you want this for any of your children? … I doubt it …

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