New York – The Roving Eye

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    New York – If a husband knew just how bad his failure to guard his eyes devastates his wife, he’d maybe think twice about surfing schmutz on the web.

    One such victimized wife wrote me, among other things: “I was really hurt to find all of it. I think that was when the reality of his past sunk deep into my heart and crushed me. In the first year of our marriage my husband would stay up really late on the computer. Doing what? I have no clue. I started regularly checking the internet history. Now that every once in a while check has become an obsession! On the surface we look like a happy couple and my husband would probably say we are but I am dying inside. This fear is killing me. It makes it hard for me to desire intimacy. I’m always scared during intimacy he is thinking of another woman…”

    Read The Roving Eye article in its entirety By world renown speaker Rabbi Lazer Brody.

    Rabbi Lazer Brody, lives in Israel is an accomplished writer, celebrated translator of Rabbi Shalom Arush’s best-selling Torah series of books, former IDF commando, and award-winning daily web journal “Lazer Beams,” which has been instrumental in bringing thousands of people closer to Hashem.

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    74 COMMENTS

      • Just because you can’t control your taavos doesn’t mean you have the right to take down all men with you. There are plenty of good g-d fearing husbands out there who control what they look at. It’s never too late to change. You too can do teshuva.

      • true… how many men might have gay tendencies and are fighting it as much as they can because they want to do the right thing. By the way, I think my husband is one of them, and reading this comment made a huge difference to me.

    1. How about giving hubby (you know, that best boy from the best yeshiva and from that best family as well, who your parents were oh so proud of) the attention that he is seeking. Look at mom and dad lady; yours and his, for raising such dysfunctional children.

      • Best family huh? Were not the 2 recent well known rabbis that were caught in sex scandals and cocaine sniffing come from “best families” and went to top yeshivas where everyone praised them as some prodigies?
        This Beis Yakov farmville girl needs to be brought back to reality and understand that you don’t become jealous and devastated by a husband’s surfing habits. If every woman became jealous at this then there would be 98.9% divorce rate world wide. She is lucky her husband is not doing what rabbi Baruch Chalomish did.

        Seems like there is no trust and boundaries in this marriage to begin with, if she did not trust her husband or respect his privacy by invading his computer history. The problem is more than just her husband staying up late.

        • So the victim is to blame. Unbelievable. And as for this assertion that if every woman knew whaqt her husband was doing, there would be a 98.9% divorce rate, it id absurd. Ehrliche Yidden do not enmgage in this kin of behavior and the spouse has a right to look into what he is doing.

      • Its truly incredible. This blogger does not know this woman, but already has an opinion that she is not giving her husbamd the attention he needs. It’s astounding how people have opinions on things they know nothing about.

        • If the husband is not eagerly awaiting Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av to get a break from all the “attention,” she is certainly not giving him enough attention. Some men talk frankly to their daughters before marriage and spell it out, as uncomfortable as that 30 second conversation may be.

          • What do you think women are? Machines? They have a name for marriages like that, Slavery! Marriage is not one sided. A husband might be a king but he’s not a tyrant. I sincerely feel bad for any woman in your life if you treat her this way. I hope you realize soon that women do not exist purely for your pleasure.

        • It’s truly incredible that no one ever blames the women when she will refuse her husband, and instead blame the men for their natural taivos, where the responsibility is on the woman to do what she can. I truly wonder if anybody ever heard this man’s side of the story. Was the wife withholding intimacy for months on end? Nobody should be judgemental.

    2. Anyone having issues- and we all have at some point- should check out the website for the GuardYourEyes Network. Just google it and it’ll come right up! It’s all free and has helped untold numbers of Frum Yidden do Tshuvah in these areas…

    3. Interesting that she knew her husband had a history of porn addiction before she married him. Did that come up in a date? That would seem like one of those “red flag” things they tell you to look out for. “Does he pick up his knife during dinner and wave it threateningly at the waiter? “Does he yell at the valet parking guy b/c he took 5 extra minutes to return the car” oh yeah, “Does he eagerly admit to you that he has a history of porn addiction?”

      • If you read the letter you will see that they are BT’s.
        The woman talks about starting covering up. I assumed the woman felt that the porn addiction was dealt with by the commitment to mitzva observance. She is hurt that it is still an issue.

    4. “If a husband knew just how bad his failure to guard his eyes devastates his wife, he’d maybe think twice about surfing schmutz on the web.”

      If a wife knew what her neglect in these areas between them can lead to, maybe she’d think twice before she acts uninterested.

      • How convenient it must be for you to blame “the wife” when you commit a sin.
        Besides, what makes you think that watching shmutz has anything to do with the wife being uninterested. Watching schmutz is simply an addiction like all others. Addictions are used to fill a void. Since there is no such thing as a vacuum, a void has to be filled. It is completely up to each person to choose how to fill it. It can be done with Torah, or chas v’shalom with porn, gambling, drinking, other women, drugs etc. The latter leads to breaking up your family and causes pain to everyone around you, including yourself.
        Start taking responsibility. Quit blaming your past or present for your poor choices. Simply tell your addictions, I can’t do this anymore, I am a Jew. Hashem does not want this. Get professional help.

        • Very well said. It sums up the real issue, not the phony issues bloggers are rasinig where they want to blame the wife. A religious Jew has an obligation to curb his Taivos. Watching internet porn it totally against Torah. Yet, most bloggers want to excuse the husband.
          I wonder how many bloggers would excuse the husband if he ate at McDonald’s because his wife doesn’t cook him a good meal.

          • its not the same as eating in Mcdonalds, its an addiction that needs to be dealt with from many angles including yiras shomayim; what is he getting at home (see gemorah re the daugters of R chisda) and past history – he is a BT.

          • all these supposedly frum bloggers who are coming up with excuses for the husband and blaming the wife;it’s mamesh sickening!it makes me wonder how many of these people have a similar problem-addicts blame others for their own problems while at the same time they seek to rationalize their substance abuse.

          • Couldn’t agree more! This behavior is inexcusable! I like your McDonald’s analogy… I hate when men say “my sex life sucks… my wife doesn’t satisfy me…”. Dealing with such issues by turning to filth is immature, irrational and irresponsible. And what about thinking maybe the root of their issues is due to the man behaving inappropriately, rather than the wife not satisfying? Watching these things fills men with crazy expectations. It’s harder and more pressure for the wife to keep the man satisfied. Satisfaction is genuine when it is your only source of satisfaction. And besides, there are still plenty of men who do this even if their wives don’t turn them down, and gives him her utmost attention. Some men are sick and need help and yet choose to continue hurting people! It’s not fair. And as others said, excuses and lies only make matters worse and exacerbate the problem on both ends! As a woman, I can share some of the sentiments expressed in the letter. The man wants his wife to be modest, yet turns to others. How hypocritical and just plain unfair! This is common! It’s not fair! Can’t have the cake and eat it too on the wife’s cheshbon. Can’t have it your way.

        • Sorry to tell you, but this void we’re speaking of doesn’t become full with Torah. This void has to be filled with what is muttar, and if that’s not supplied, a man will get it somewhere else. That’s a fact.

          For the record, I, B’H, haven’t made any wrong choices, and I’m not excusing those who do. I’m just saying if a woman doesn’t want her husband to be nichshsol, she has to do her part.

      • The Torah tells us that it is the wife who shouldn’t be neglected, not the husband. now, if the husbands treated the wives PROPERLY, and made them feel like a Queen, then perhaps the wives would be more interested…. and just by the way, women don’t “act” uninterested – they either are, or they aren’t. If they’re not interested, look at your own behavour towards her, and work out how you could change it to increase her interest. ok ?

        • That is a logical, mature approach. Turning to filthy, unfair, impulses and blaming the whole world is just wrong. I’m appalled by how even the frum community is plagued by this. And it seems to be embraced by some users. There are some that occasionally give in to their yetzer horah, they’re human. But those addicts who do not even attempt to control themselves and view it as acceptable to do this and be machshil other people, are truly weak and need a tikun (not to mention help). And many times this weakness is reflected in other aspects of his life. Not to mention how the family suffers. It is not always merely “just watching”. It has an impact that just keeps digging deeper and deeper into your soul. It has an effect on your life and personality.

          • Addicts are addicts and need help. But articles like these serve to turn the wives of average guys who stumble into quivering lunatics who destroy their healthy marriages with paranoid hysterics and self-fulfilling prophesies.

            • Would you like to explain what is healthy about being married to an addict? Just how is a marriage healthy when the husband is sneaking behind his wife’s back to view porn? The husband is destroying the marriage by looking at porn and she has every right to be upset. Sounds like maybe YOU need help if you can justify this behavior.

            • I wrote that comment and stand by what I said. I don’t have to explain what’s healthy about being married to an addict because that’s not at all what I was saying.

              As for sneaking around…there’s a fairly broad line between “the average guy who stumbles,” and an addict. So-called authorities who convince women to believe that the “average guy’s” weakness is a betrayal that is “destroying the marriage,” are the ones destroying marriages. Not a guy who occasionally can’t resist.

              Surely, viewing porn is not the right thing the do; I bet most guys who do are already painfully aware of that. But their weakness does not mean that they are sick, disgusting, perverts. Nor does it mean that their wives are unloved and undesirable.

        • The mitzvah of satisfying the wife was given to men at a time when multiple wives were a possibility if he so desired, so the Torah told him to make sure that she was satisfied (not neglected.) He always had options if he wanted more. Today he is beholden to her exclusively and is rarely if ever neglected, but many men are.

      • This is the biggest problem today. Instead of all the tzniyus conventions, they should be teaching wives how to get rid of headaches and keep their husbands interested in them.

        • Actually, maybe if the wives dress more tznius we wouldn’t have such a problem. Men are exposed to untznius dressed women all week long. Maybe, just maybe, If the women would dress more tznius on shabbos, yom koddosh, you are showing G-D that you and the community at large are making good sincere efforts, and he will in turn give the men more siata d’shmaya. We should have conventions for women that address tznius while teaching them how to keep their husbands interested.

          • Sick of men and rabbonim blaming women and their tznius. Men need conventions to address their animalistic behaviors and how to learn some self control. Why do men do the worst sins and blame women for it???? Why are men so innocent?? maybe these men are the ones starting up with innocent women??

      • Not always true. I know many women who are almost perfect in all aspects, yet men will always look, want more or something other than their wives.

        If women only knew how many yingeliet go out clubbing on “SHABBOS” there wont be an end to divorce. Why is it so hard to spend some time with wife and children on shabbos? Why blame women? Maybe all these hefker yings need help. They are so into their own secret world. It has nothing to do with the wife not being interested but men pulling other men down just to be cool.

    5. It is an addiction – and it is wide spread. It affects males of all ages and backgrounds, and some females too.

      It needs to be cured.

      Like any illness of the mind such as alcholics, gamblers, drug abuse etc. it is often traced to childhood trauma.

      The illness progresses, consumes the soul and destroys the person.

      It destroys everything in its path – jobs, friends, finances, ability to form relationships and marriages.

      It has many victims – the spouse and children get the brunt of it. The spouse is in many ways considered a co-addict and the children become addits or marry addicts. The chain of addiction continues until it is broken.

      Sometimes it leads to death – by disease or depression caused suicide. It always leads to ruin. It revolves around a cycle of shame, anger, and despair – leading to more acting out to numb the pain (followed by more shame, unhealthy anger and greater despair).

      It doesn’t go away by itself. And it progresses – in frequency and intensity, always seeking a better “high”.

      Therapy, counselling, 12-step meetings and support groups will give the addict tools to control the illness and put him in recovery.

      Denial and excuses are the addiction.

      • Not to defend people who do aveiros, but lets separate Torah from psychology, Psychology doesn’t consider watching a lot of porn an addiction. Can a shrink help you overcome your desires? Sure, even goyishe ones. The therapist would probably not use one of the therapies you described, but would probably do marital counselling. In psychology -since this not a mental illness they can only help you and your wife be on the same page. Either you both agree to watch this stuff or you both agree not to. If they can’t come to an agreement, then the marriage can’t be saved. The best thing is to speak to a Rov or learn musser to help you overcome this. Going to a shrink might not solve the problem acc. to the Torah.

    6. All these stories are one sided every case and every scenario is different there are sometimes that the wife docent give the husband what he needs and ask your friends… there are many times that men just dont behave like real men and many times that both have to change for the other but when you read a story with someone complaining remember you are not reading the other side…… unfortunately in our community just in a nut shell we do not teach whats really needed in a marriage but just that the husband should be a good learner and the wife can cook good and of course good midos until… i know im not clear im rushing but we do not teach our kids what they need to know to have a good and lasting marriage and the reason frum divorces are less is not because the marriages are happier….

      • i’m fully with you , i don’t have an opinion in this story as you say its only one sided , but there is definitlly a problem in our community that our marriage teachers don’t talk to us enough in “this area” ,anyway if someone know’s someone that could help in this area please comment .

    7. Rabbi Lazer’s Youtube clips of Reb Yosef Karduner’s soulfull singing and guitar playing brought me back to Jewish music.
      I can not say I never listen to and strum along to Pink Floyd or the Dead etc. ,but it’s getting less and less frequent. It’s great to have alternative Jewish music that appeals to a wider audience.
      Thank’s Reb Lazer.

    8. I dont mean to sound so callus, but she sounds like she is the one that needs help.

      Its true that he is doing something terrible, but she is using it as an excuse towards some goal of hers. ie. to be right ect…

    9. the best kabala for shovavim sign up for “webchaver”
      rabbi binyomin eisenberger spoke to his shul & 80 yungeleit signed up for the program “ashreichem to a superb group who are mekabel to grow that shul is a beacon of light as to how mispalelim become talmidim & not board members

    10. Somone once met the Gerrer Rebbe and the rebbe asked him where he is learning? The Bocher answered that he is learning in Ohr Sameyach, “but I am not a Baal Teshuva!” The Rebbe responded: “And why not?”
      Remeber Teshuva, real teshuva, is for all people even FFBs.

    11. Rabbi Lazer Brody is someone extremely special. He has translated seforim by Rabbi Arush on fundamentals of Yiddishkeit. One sefer stands out, Garden of Peace about Shalom Bayis. It’s for men and very deep. He writes on emunah in Garden of Emunah. Rabbi Brody has DVD’s that are about $2 each and will change your life, check out Ashreinu, best 2 bucks you’ll ever spend.

    12. proud to have jnet DSL. its expensive 75 a month, but well worth it if you buy kosher matzos esrog.. why not kosher web svce ( any of the co’s)
      & even with all the filters we need a shmira
      even if one is not tempted to sin the halacha requires that we all consider ourselves “vulnerable”

    13. There is a noted Doctor I believe his name is Dr Patrice O’neal whos basically says that men have needs both intimate needs and emotional needs and just because a man uses other means of satisfying certain intimate needs, doesn’t necesssarily mean he doesnt love his wife. God created man with needs, if he has to go elsewhere to satisfy his intimate needs, does that mean he no longer loves his wife?

    14. I think we all triing to live in denial working with kids at risk,couples at risk our biggest down fall is that We think that We control the guarding of the eyes and guarding of the bris. Hashem created us all with a evil inclination yetzer hora. Dovid hamelach may his merit be a sheild for us all amen. comes along with the story of bat sheva and teaches us that a human is not in control of the above- mentioned.It is just that the human admits where he stands AT each given moment of his breath then hashem has permission and is able to enter that individuals’ life to grab onto his hand and save him from falling.
      King david taught us that the biggest illusion is to think that I am the one in control and i am the one that does good. When king david fell with bat sheva he asked hashem why did you test me if you hashem know all of our intentions and thoughts.
      Hashem replied that there is no righteous person in the world who will do good and will not sin. Hashem does the good and we have a yetzer hora so if we will live life like that then hashem we will not si
      Someone was criing that their child was on a respirator and hashem is criing waiting for us to return to live on hashems’ breath

      • Dovid HaMelech also asked to be tested, according to the gemara in perek Chelek, if I am not mistaken. He asked Hashem why out amida says “Elokei Avraham…Yitzchak…and Yaakov”, and not “Elokei Dovid” as well. Hashem responded that He tested the avos and that is why they are in Shemone Esrei. So Dovid asked Hashem to test him also so he could, too, be counted among the avos hakedoshim in that list.

        There’s a reason we ask Hashem to not bring us “lidei nisayon”. May Hashem help all His children with all good things.

    15. The solution is not a simple “guard your eyes” but why the husband is behaving as he does. May the wife is not “victimized”, perhaps her behavior in the marriage is contributing to his behavior. Actions in relationships don’t come out of nowhere.
      They both need to think and work this out together!

    16. david and yosef didnt use the internet and the rest is history
      who are we kiddng there are lots of people that watch porn and are very much in love with a husband or wife if she has a problem she should make herself attractive and available to him and do what ever it takes instead of being afraid and snooping on him

    17. There is one solution: break your head on a shtikel gemorah. A noted gadol said, (sounds better in yiddesh but looks better written in english) if the head is full with narishkeit, it cant be filled with torah and vice versa. we know what we need to do..

    18. I am utterly disgusted at the concept bandied about here that if a man is “forced” to resort to such activities, his wife must not have met his needs. That’s like, I don’t have enough money so let me shoplift at Macy’s. If something is forbidden – and porn is forbidden – there is no justification for viewing it. No wife ever “forces” a husband to watch porn. If his needs are not met, it’s HIS problem and HIS nisayon. I feel bad for a man whose needs are not met, but that does not make it right to watch porn (just like I feel bad for a poor man but it does not make it right to shoplift).

    19. anyone excusing his despicable behavior can only do so if he himself is guilty of the same thing. anyone blaming the woman is so unreasonable- she should not have to compete with the shmutz out there, and if hes looking for it- she should leave him if he doesnt shape up.

      • Finally someone that actually makes sense. Let me just add, that both spouses need to recognize that they need help, and they must be willing to be helped. Without that no counseling in the world will save them.

    20. the whole thing with the frum internet is nonsense.
      i mean true your not bringing it into your home, but the truth is if your husband, wife, kids etc. want to find stuff they will find it no matter what!
      their friends houses, cellphones, cafes, libraries…
      kosher internet is not always the answer.

    21. why doesnt ones wife talk to the husband about why is looking elsewhere…communication i so important, if one cant communicate thats why your marraige is dead….intimacy should be alive and holy not dead and boring.

    22. hey! before blaming your wife for not doing her job think about yourself, are you doing yours? are you always neat? dressed well? are you in shape or you fress chulent and kugel without a chesben….

    23. If your wife doesn’t satisfy your needs–may be you are actually the one not satisfiying hers. Find me a wife who has been treated properly in “that area” and doesn’t want more. If she still isn’t up to snuff–get a divorce–don’t betray her. You made a deal–stick to it or cancel it.

      • Not true. Some women (as do men) have genuine intimacy issues. Often, intimacy can cover up other issues – including unresolved emotional issues, lesbian tendencies, longing for an old flame, or a really dumb Kallah teacher – and a host of other issues, non related to the husband’s performance. That’s why counseling with an intelligent, frum, female, therapist is so important (not a kallah teacher!). There are many of them out there (a competent one, no learn at home life coaches, ask for at least a masters level) – and there are many incompetent ones as well. Do your homework, and it will be the best money you’ve ever spent.

    24. hey! before blaming your wife for not doing her job think about yourself, are you doing yours? are you always neat? dressed well? are you in shape or you fress chulent and kugel without a chesben….

    25. I cannot believe how many bloggers here who I suppose consider themselves “frum” are ready to justify such behavior. Yes,we all have tests but to simply condone it when we all know it’s dead wrong morally and from a Torah standpoint?!! Even in the non-Jewish world it is looked at with disgust by people with values. Jews have values! IT seems that many reading this site do not. How can someone(#1) make a comment saying “Boys will be boys. It’s not what women are thinking. Be happy your husband likes women is all I can say. We can all be better husbands.”?? What is that supposed to mean-be happy your husband likes women?? So he’s not walking in gay parades! Oh,I’m thrilled!! Should we clap?? What is happening to us and our moral values?!? Do all of you bloggers go to shul on Yom Kippur? Porn definitely falls into the “Al Cheit…B’Vidas Znus”!! Regarding this couple;they definitely need therapy and they should not feel alone because therapists are overloaded these days with all sorts of issues in the frum community.
      I cannot understand however how these people that condone this live with themselves. What separates you from the goy?? Do you even know anymore?

      • What separates them from the goy is their conscience that they are really doing something wrong but either can’t help it, or are justifying it. A goy has no conscience and sees nothing wrong in viewing internet porn and the likes.

    26. Gee wiz. Everyone is an intimacy expert now? Some of you guys are probably married 3 months and all of a sudden you know it all. I’m 68 now and trust me you have no idea.

    27. There are lots of true points being made here in both directions. But i’m in favor of the opinion that says that usually these issues, btwn. Husband and wife stem from basic misunderstandings that exist in the way people perceive the opposite gender. A few short examples: men, some more than others, almost always have a real and alive pull to these things, and this need is never truly satisfied – as much as it gets it always wants more. And I think that many women don’t realize this to its true extent(theres a lot more on this, I just wanna make a point). And the same way, many men don’t recognize the need that their wives have for true love and care, and need to be told so as well. And this also helps unterstand why, as seen in the comments, that a/o lashing out at one gender is usually from the other gender – shifting blame and b/c they have these misunderstandings. I’m not saying that if couples are made aware of the true nature and needs of their spouse that there will never be an issue again but I think that step one is asessing the situation honestly and accurately. I still have a lot more to say on the matter but that would mean being here all day. And sorry if I wasn’t clear enough in communicating my opinion.

    28. The point is not whether or not she satisfied him. The point is that even if she totally does not satisfy him, he is not allowed to view porn al pi halach!! So all these conversations about what the wife should be doing is BESIDE the point. Iif your boss is not meeting his obligaltion and not giving you a paycheck, is it OK for you to commit the aveira of stealing??? Does a wrong someone else does to you (ie, your wife not meeting your needs) give you the right to do an aveira (watching porn)???

    29. (1) After getting our arranged (forced) marriage, some start thinking I could of choose something that I really need

      (2) The parents of the cute and picked up girls can choose the best bucher, and they get the “best” (best in learning, but messed up in middus and so on) bucher that never even knows what he got, and she would never choose such a …

      (3) Thanks for my parents for getting me such a frum and mismatched wife for their kuved (they knew what I need) (I really can’t complain, she was such a good student, she never dressed up fancy, and she knew all haluches, and lots of knowledge in TNAC”H(lol) ), they messed up the first few years of our life, till our changes to meet some more of each others requirements are got in affect (divorce was never my option since I know it will hurt her for life)

      Conclusion- the wife start to change for the husband, she gets mussar from her parents how she was raised to be ehrlich and now she looks like a “goiteh” going uncovered (with a cup cake shaitel, the most she could do for her husband and still kosher lmhadrin), so every small change takes years

      Now the husband isn’t satisfied he starts surfing, he was never addicted and would never be, but if he does not get what he wants he has to ….

      It is really bad surfing, but first solve the problems that drove him there

      When a smoke detector goes on you have to get the fire under control, not the smoke detector

        • The balance between tznious and sexual fulfilment is a hard learned art? What does tznius have to do with sexual fulfillment? I personally do not consider myself the most tznius woman out there, and I battle daily with tznius issues, however I value tznius and I value marital intimacy. If you follow the Torah then there should be a direct positive correlation between tznius and sexual fulfillment. I am a very open person and women often confide in me in this area because they feel they can speak comfortably and I won’t judge them. Generally I find that the more tznius the girl, the happier and more fulfilled she is. Most issues encountered in the “sexual fulfillment” area, and I’ve spoken with other women who agree with me, is often rooted in a lack of tznius, (i.e., socializing too much with other couples, watching movies, husband has issues with shmiras einayim, woman has certain expectations of what “sexual fulfillment” b/c of reading material or movies. My husband also speaks with men and most of the guys who’ve had sexual experiences when they were single and married girls frummer than they expressed a huge appreciation for their wives’ innocence and tznius.

    30. hey did anyone read the actual article and dr. brodys response? could anyone pls explain to me how the hell his advice about emunah helps this woman on a daily practical level? i mean i know we have to pray to hashem and have total faith in him, but practical professional advice is neccessary as well. wats he trying to say?!!!

    31. IIt truly saddens me to see how many people here EXPECT frum men to look at p—–y. Many Gedolim and pashuta rabanim have identified this as the nissayon of our dor. R Shimshon Pinkus zt”l even based it on a zohar, and that was in reffrence to the “internet” of his days (36k dial up??). It is NORMAL for every ehrliche bachur to have some source of p— or other shmutz. They are on the computer, them come in the mail, and they are printed in every “Daily” newspaper. There is no end to the availability of “shmutz”.

      For all those who are addicted, GuardYourEyes.org has haskamos from both The Rosh Yeshiva Rav Feldman shlita, a member of the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah. In addition to a haskama from Dr. Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski, yiddishkeits athourity on addictions (who has a longstanding policy of not giving haskamos).

      There is a forum for wives of addicts, and a private forum for women themselves (not veiwable to the public).

      Everyone MUST install monitoring software on their computer, in addition to a filter. “If you have nothing to hide, why are you afraid to do it”.

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