New York – Being that in the month of June there are many weddings, we will be presenting over the next week many halachos that apply to Simchas Chosson Vekallah
We all attend weddings and have a great time eating, talking, dancing etc. However, one has a mitzvah to rejoice with the chosson and kallah, do we all do this? What is the mitzvah? How should we perform this mitzvah? By dancing? By saying nice words? Is going to the chupah sufficient to fulfill this mitzvah or one has to actually attend the seudah? How far must one go in order to fulfill this mitzvah? All these and other questions will be addressed in this issue.
It is a mitzvah d’rabbanan to make a chosson and kallah happy, as part of the mitzvah of veahavta lereiacha kemocha. This mitzvah lasts for the entire seven days of sheva berochos and not only the night of the wedding. Included in the mitzvah is to make sure that the chosson and kallah have what they need for their wedding. Some opine that the main mitzvah is only where the chosson and kallah are needy people or if there are not many people who will be attending the wedding. There is a separate mitzvah of “bringing a kallah to the chupah.”
One who makes a chosson happy is zocheh to Torah, it’s as if he has sacrificed a korbon todah in the Bais Hamikdosh, and as if he built one of the ruined houses in Yerushalayim.
Enjoyment from the Wedding
One should not have enjoyment from the wedding without making the chosson and kallah happy. Nonetheless, even if one did not have enjoyment from the seuda one still has a mitzvah to make the chosson and kallah happy.
It is preferable not to come at the end of the wedding when there will be no food to eat since the chosson may feel bad. However, today this is not the case so the above would not apply. Even where there is no food, if one says “I did not come to eat only to say mazel tov” then coming at the end is okay.
The above article is reprinted with permission exclusive to VIN News from Halachically Speaking, a monthly publication compiled by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits, a former chaver kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath and a musmach of Harav Yisroel Belsky Shlita. Rabbi Lebovits currently works as the Rabbinical Administrator for the KOF-K Kosher Supervision. To subscribe to Halachically Speaking via email for free sign up at www.thehalacha.com