Staten Island, NY – Father-In-Law Speaks Out After Agunah’s Public Plea For Get

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    Staten Island, NY – On the heels a public plea last week from a 24 year-old New Jersey agunah who claims her civilly divorced 27 year-old Orthodox Jewish husband refuses to grant her a get, the father-in-law is speaking out, saying the fallout from the incident has left his family “horrified.”

    SILIVE.com (http://bit.ly/19RN057) reports that plea from the agunah, Gita Dodelson, has sparked a firestorm of negative reaction across social media for Avrohom Meir Wiess and his family, forcing his father, Rabbi Yosaif Asher Weiss of Prince’s Bay, to speak publicly on the matter.

    “Our family is horrified by the vitriol, lies and hate that permeate Gital’s article,” said Rabbi Weiss. “It is full of misinformation and outright fabrications, as well as untruths.”

    “This is a very, very heart wrenching and ongoing dispute. We’ve been trying desperately to resolve this for a long time. This has destroyed my family health wise and destroyed my family financially,” said Weiss, whose grandfather was the renowned scholar Rabbi Moshe Feinstein.

    Weiss said his biggest regret is that the issue is now leaving an easily accessible Internet trail for his grandson.

    “We have a grandchild here, the sweetest child you will ever meet, who doesn’t understand any of this, who one day is going to grow up and have to read this,” Weiss said. “We don’t want him to think that we could ever say anything bad against his mother, no matter what she did.”

    Weiss said the Internet fallout, mainly Facebook and Twitter, has also called for boycotts of the religious publishing house Artscroll, where he has worked for years.

    A Facebook page now running, titled “Free Gital: Tell Avrohom Meir Weiss to Give His Wife a ‘Get,’ has generated thousands of likes and responses, leaving Weiss reeling, and saying only that the process is ongoing, and that he hopes it will be resolved soon.

    “We do not wish to respond in kind, nor to jeopardize delicate negotiations by discussing them publicly, but we remain hopeful that the entire matter including the get will be resolved very soon, so that Avrohom and Gital can get on with their lives.” said Weiss.

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    126 COMMENTS

    1. Both sides in EVERY divorce case always lie and distort the truth, stooping to incomprehensible levels. No one should be siding with either of them. It’s for them and their respective rabbis/therapists/counselors to deal with to resolve this unfortunate matter.

    2. Don’t act like the victim, Mr. Weiss. It is your son who is withholding the get. That’s playing dirty, and you should expect to get a fight, a nasty one. Nobody will take that lying down these days, especially with internet available.

      • Agreed! If a Kolel man, especially one who comes from such a distinguished and choshuv family goes to Court to divorce his wife in order to divest himself of legal responsibility for her, and to get court ordered joint custody and legal visitation with his child and bypass the normal process of going to Bais Din, then you just need to understand that you reap what you sow.

        This is NOT how his great grandfather would have advised him. Nor would he have advised him to withhold the GET. So I do agree with you, and I don’t give Mr. Weiss much credibility other that he is NOW suffering for the misguided advice that he and his brother gave his son. In addition, I would go so far as to say that “IF” Gital told the truth in her interview to the Post, and Avrohom was indeed as controlling and immature as she claimed he was, then Mr. Weiss has an even bigger achrius in this disaster of a marriage. Both HE and HIS wife knew that his son was NOT prepared or ready to be a marriage partner, and they should NOT have called Gital’s parents to push this huge yichusdika match.

    3. how can you respond when a siruv was issued signed by the novominsker rebbe shlita, Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky shlita, Rav ahron Schecter shlita and the list goes on. There should be public rallies for kvod shomayim for the kovod of theses gedolim.

      • “how can you respond when a siruv was issued signed by the novominsker rebbe shlita, Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky shlita, Rav ahron Schecter shlita and the list goes on.”

        No, the actual סירוב was not signed by the ‘Heavyweights’ you mention. Rather, they signed a קול קורא, which went so far as to call for the dismissal of Weiss’ father and uncle from their positions with ArtScroll:

        וגם אנו פונים בזה לחברת ארטסקרול (ששם עובדים אביו ודודו התומכים בו) שימחו במשפחתו ויסלקם מן העבודה שאינו מן הראוי שתמסר תורה על ידיהם

    4. Aww, I feel so bad for them.. NOT. They should have thought about it when they raised this control freak. It’s ruined them financially?? Who told you to carry on like this for the past 3 years? Your son should be happy she didnt hire the Epstein gang when she had the chance.

    5. Rabbi Weiss, you are putting a very nice spin on the story and dancing around the issue. There is only ONE thing to know here:

      Why the hell is your son withholding the Get?

      There is NO excuse to withhold a Get for ANY reason.

      You can fight out the custody issues after you give the Get. End of story.

    6. They the weiss family bought this on themselfs what are they complaining about,they think everyone else is stupid and they are the only ones who are right and smart.

    7. Can he at least say what part is incorrect ? The longer it takes for them to issue a get, the more aggravation they will probably have. There is a way to stop this ,and that is to give a get.

    8. Reb Moishe is turning over in his grave because of the Chilul Hashem his son and family are making. A BEIS DIN gave a SIRUV against Mr. Weiss. Both parties can write what they want but the Beis Din has heard both sides (and the Feinstein -Weiss side one would think would wield a lot of power given they are the so called Gedolim (lol) in the Litvishe world). There is NO excuse for holding a woman hostage. NONE! I sense they are holding out for ransom also known as extortion. The Beis Din should set terms and then the Tzibur should exert as much pressure as needed to cause the get to take place. It is people like them that unfortunately gave reason to the Epstein-Wolmark headache.

      • I know nothing of this case, and I want to stay out of it. However, there are reasons for withholding a get. I once told someone they should give their wife a get, and they told me I had to investigate the case before forming an opinion. He told me the girl married him after he was already practicing medicine, and she wanted half his practice for the rest of his life. These things are always things outsiders should stay out of, unless directed to get involved by daas Torah. And being told that a seruv has been issued by some random bais din is not enough. I will tell you that a teacher was caught molesting child, was fired, and brought thhe chairman of the school tot bais din, which found in the teacher’s favor. That night the head of the bais din called the chairman and told him that he should keep the poor teacher employed, but not in contact with children, because the teacher had a family to support.

        • if half his practice is what the doctor would have to settle for in a civil divorce case,does it seem right to you that he try to extort her for a better deal just because he can?

          • That wouldn’t be the case. Only if she helped put him through medical school and the opening of his practice would she be entitled to half of it. If, as the poster said, he already was practicing medicine she did not “give him the ability to practice” since he was able to do it before (and after) marrying her. So even in civil court she wouldn’t get that much as she asked for and therefore he has the right to try to get a better deal than she is asking for. Know the law before commenting.

    9. Divorce settlements where children are involved are tedious. Even with clearly delineated agreements they are only as viable if the two parties are clear headed and are in mind of
      1. The true best interest of the child to have a stress free open access to parents and grandparent.
      2.

    10. It seems to me that money is the issue….if you give him MONEY, he’ll give a get…the innocent child is the pawn here–no matter who’s at fault. It’s always money when there is a disagreement or fight. Whoever went to the press first, didn’t think of the fallout…they only thought of smearing the other party!!!

    11. Divorce settlements where children are involved are tedious. Even with clearly delineated agreements they are only as viable if the two parties are clear headed and are in mind of
      1. The true best interest of the child to have a stress free open access to parents and grandparent.
      2. Sever the marriage where the two parties can move on with their lives.

      Taking to Facebook twitter and public shaming, gives a very temporary felling of empowerment until the public gets bored, better informed and a new public scandal comes along.

      4:

      • When a person is stuck between a rock and a hard place with nowhere else to go, one needs to use every and all available avenues to maneuver their way out to a satisfactory conclusion. Going to the media and internet was he only way of making this issue public, since the public “seruv” was ignored.

        It is easy to say or judge what should or shouldn’t be done when WE are NOT the ones suffering in the agunah position. After all this has been going on for 3-4 years and it has taken Gital this long to come to the public for assistance. It is NOT as if she didn’t care and just went around blabbing off her mouth the minute she had the opportunity. I am sure that she thought long and hard before airing her dirty laundry in public. And low and behold, both Artscroll and her ex-father-in-law have come out of hiding and offered a statement.

        For whatever it is worth, SHE is the victim here and SHE deserves a GET. The court is handling the other matter. IF the WEISS family feels the need to blackmail Gital and her family for money, then Gital should have the right to demand the same money from them for pain and suffering. Give the GET and stop the nonsense.

        • Sherree, couldn’t have said it better myself. I quote you: “ When a person is stuck between a rock and a hard place with nowhere else to go, one needs to use every and all available avenues to maneuver their way out to a satisfactory conclusion.” That is why it is not outrageous for Weiss to withhold the Get. Period.

    12. Soon? So the siruv bes din and the court order wasn’t enough? Now he’s worried about his grandson’s future? Where has he been the last 2 years? His comment is so none commital there is a greater chance of a cow jumping over the moon. He and his family made a mockery of the “get” process and now Weiss can’t stand the heat of the general public.

      • Even if everything about her story is false, and I mean everything and you believe what he said is 100% true (I am not saying this is what I believe, this is hypothetical) it still does not equal him not giving here a get. The divorce was finalized in civil court, custody and alimony where agreed to it is high time he just give her the get and stop being mechal shamim. I think rabbanim should come out that at least for the first year so of marriage couples should automatically be allowed to prevent children (sorry don’t know if I am allowed to say BC on here) from coming into this world, some of these divorces would have been solved a long time ago is there where no kids involved.

      • Charlie, you are always a clear thinker, could it possibly be that it was HE and NOT his son that steered this whole fiasco in this direction???? Doth he protest too much?

    13. no one is buying it! they had close to four years to settle this and didn’t do anything, now the pressure is on he’s trying to be the victim. shame on him in shame on the Family

      • NOT so honest at all. Had they followed halacha as Mr. Weiss’ grandfather would have guided them to do, no one but the family would be aware of this entire story. It would all be very quiet because….haven’t you heard….these things don’t happen in Lakewood!

    14. Sorry Rabbi Weiss, I just don’t get. If there is a civil divorce already then there is a custody and financial agreement . There is NOTHING to negotiate. Just get her the get. ( Unless you want to use the get to gain something and this extortion)

      • Right you are and if you look at the custody papers, which are on the website, you can clearly see that they share joint custody with Gital having residential custody. Avrohom also gets every other weekend and two nights a week. And yet he complains that he doesn’t get enough time with his son. Give me a break. As a kolel man, how much more time would he have given him had they still been married? And if you were to venture incorrectly and assume that she is playing with the visitation, that would be also wrong because he clearly states that both parents bring the child on time to visits. In addition, the mother would be risking residential custody if she played games with the courts orders.

    15. Let him show us that he’s willing to give a divorce, and hand over the get to his wife. It’s his best way of getting his name clear. It’ll be a win-win solution. Very simple.

      • Exactly, even more so, the best chance he had at remarrying was to give her a quiet GET and divorce, and get the therapy he needed to learn how to behave appropriately in a shared relationship. With the circus he created he ruined his chances of doing that in the future.

    16. Can the Halacha be modified so woman be treated as equals and not as the property of their husbands?
      I would greatly appreciate Rabbi Yair Hoffman shedding some light on this important matter.

    17. Ahh. He sounds. So. Sweet and. Nebach. His. Son. Is such. A tzadik . This rabbi should be in Hollywood .
      Gital should have gone to the press. A long time ago
      Now let’s. see what happens

    18. I am not sure why you are calling her an agunah.

      There was an impartial mediator brought in who had been agreed to by both parties. The mediator prepared an solution which the has and has agreed to. The wife has not agreed to solution suggested by the mediator. It would seem that she is implicit herself in the get not being finalized. You can hardly call her an agunah if she is the one unwilling to accept the get.

      I know your source is the oh so holy article in the NY Prust which was provided by the wife. We know that lascivious news is what is most favored by this web site.
      I have seen the letter written and signed by the mediator.

      • you can keep trying but its not going to work, it is so simple and clear to see what kind of human bein the husband is, and there’s a reason why the public opinion is for her just give her a get and then you could fight as long as you want

        • Your response, as expected, has nothing to do with the actual facts in the case. Which is not surprising. Because facts confuse you preconceptions. You therefore refuse to deal with facts.

      • totally agree with this! she is hardly an agunah when she refuses to negotiate in negotiations where the guy is willing to accept the ruling of the arbitrator and give the get!!

      • Ah, the cart before the horse. No, the facts are the legal divorce documents that Avrohom wants to challenge in bais din and build on. Furthermore, mediators in bais din have nothing to do with what is fair or equitable, only what they can do to get the “GET” finalized. So if HIS demands are ridiculous and she doesn’t agree to it, WE of course would ALL be shocked.

        By the way, what do you know about what she WAS willing to agree to????

        But thanks for the insight. You have truly opened up all of our eyes with this new bit of information that Mr. Weiss was NOT willing to share.

      • they should have consulted with rabbi moshe meir weiss from staten island…who is a tzaddik and profound in shalom bayis issues..
        as they say, if you love some thing (one) set it free

    19. So give her a get. She doesn’t want to be married to his son, they have a civil divorce. She wants to start a new life, let her go and they both can move forward.

    20. i understand Gitals pain but she is not a rachmunas for not getting her get yet. she or her father should first seat down like a mantch to the table. and grant the husband to have normal visitation rights and other normal requests what the family is asking and then i promos you it will be resolved don’t use the public for your garbage tears (note) im not a family member or a friend. i just got the info from a friend who knows gitals family.

    21. Rav Weiss feels his son and their entire family are the “victims”…well thats GOOD. They can fix this problem tomorrow by giving Ms. Dodelson a get. Its that simple. She doesn’t want to be married to him and thats all thats important. And clearly, the erhliche Weiss family doesn’t want such a woman to be their daughter-in-law and bear their children and grandchildren. Give her the get and move on with your lives or the suffering is only beginning.

      • Just one correction if you allow me, it is NOT that she doesn’t want to be married to him. If she is telling the truth, it is impossible for her to stay in a marriage where she is not respected or considered. There is a huge difference there. She does NOT have to allow herself to be a victim of a controlling nor a verbally abusive and demanding spouse.

        And this is where the Weiss family has made their worst mistake in not giving her a quiet GET and divorce and letting her move on to a new life. No one would have known what happened in her marriage. No one would have known the real issue and the Weiss parents could have addressed their sons problems and helped him to learn how to do better and understand more in the future. Live and let live. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

    22. I wonder who’s taking advantage of whom and who’s really the victim and who’s not. It’s unfortunate that most women are in haste to blame the husband however a husband can be the same victim as a wife.
      Let’s stop these Loshon Horoh articles about men chaining their wives and molesters on the loose until properly verified. If indeed there is truth then it should be dealt with to the fullest otherwise just talk about Obama.

    23. He didn’t refute anything except to say there are lies he doesn’t say what exactly the lies are! He also doesn’t answer why his son still didn’t give a get!!

    24. I don’t get it. WHAT NEGOTIATIONS? Does that translate as we want money? His no-good son should give his ex a Get, there is no excuse. Where is the Zeidie in all this? Rav Moshe zatzal must be cringing. Such an einekele nobody wants, holding his wife hostage. This Weiss father is a bad as the son.

    25. Amazing. None of you know anything more than you’ve been fed by one side or the other yet you all have very strong opinions about who is right and who is wrong.

      Fools, all of you. You don’t know the facts and therefore don’t know the halachah in this case (even if you know halachah in general) yet you’ll get on the internet and take sides.

        • Where did you come up with this nonsense from?

          What is certainly more accurate is that if someone goes to the NY Prust to press their case, there is definitely something wrong with their position.

          You must be one of the causes of Mamzerus that markets itself as ORA.

        • Thanks for providing Exhibit A of the type of fool who takes sides in this type of dispute without the benefit of knowing or caring about any of the facts or which side (if either) is acting in accordance with halachah.

          A get is simply a Jewish divorce. Halachah does not generally recognize an entitlement by either spouse to a divorce on demand, any more than it recognizes either spouse’s entitlement to divorce only when/if they are so inclined.

          Again, thanks for stepping up to the plate and providing a perfect specimen of one who has made up his/her mind and doesn’t want to be distracted by those nuisance little details mature people refer to as facts and halachah.

          • Withholding a Get is hardly ever justified. Admittedly if a woman wrongfully accuses her husband of child abuse, has him arrested by falsely claiming that he attacked her or their children, withholding a Get might be justified. But to use the power that a man has to gain money or custody is cruel. Finally, if the man claims that his wife is being manipulated to ask for a Get, and she really wants to stay married; especially if there are children involved (and definitely if the man is a Kohen, where a Get is not reversible) he should be given the benefit if the doubt and the obligatory visits to therapists & counsellors need to take place. But 4 years??? And where there are no allegations of a vengeful & spiteful evil wife, there is absolutely no excuse for withholding a Get. Period (unlike Obama’s “Period”)

            • How do you know the facts? She might have accused him of terrible things. He has a right to be able to see his own biological children who know him as Tatte. Imagine if your kids were taken away and you were told if you try to see them you will be accused of stalking. If you write letters, they will be thrown out. If you try to call, the phone won’t be passed along. Your kids will be told Tatte forgot your birthday. Your kids will be told Tatte didn’t care enough to come to your siyum, siddur party, science fair, school play. The community was told lies about you and being told that is why you are blocked from seeing your kids. You cannot find out how they are doing in school, how they are physically (from their doctor) etc because your ex-wife banned you from finding out and told them that if they told you they would be liable to civil and criminal penalties.
              How would you feel? You did nothing wrong, never hurt them or raised your voice but you are being treated worse than a criminal. How would you react??

              I don’t know what the case is here, but the above story is true and has happened to someone I know personally. She claimed all sorts of lies and that she is an agunah etc but no matter what he does, he can’t see his innocent sons and daughters. He missed her Chumash party and his first siyum. So, who really knows the case here??

    26. Rabbi Weiss you should not be doing the arguing. Your son should!! If he is old enough to get married he is old enough to get a civil ivorce, then he is also old enough to give a get!! Enough!! It has been 4 LONG YEARS!! Do not complain for him!! Let him give the get and be done with it!!

    27. I hate to say it, but I think I know how to help the situation . It’s quite easy. Instead of reading תלמידי חכמים מרבים שלום בעולם with a question mark, they should read it as a statement. Maybe that will help. Anybody from artscroll can help them read it?

    28. You are all a bunch of immature ignoramuses over here. Almost every single one of you 36 commenters here. Stupid mentality stating there is no excuse to withhold a Get. Sorry people, you know nothing. NEVER JUDGE SOMEONE BASED ON AN ARTICLE IN A TABLOID submitted by one party. All you low lives on FB and blogs just lambasting the Weiss’ don’t know squat about what’s going on. So easy to feel for the woman and say there’s no excuse to withhold a Get. There are times where it’s necessary and legitimate. You can call it extortion or any other name in the book. No man needs to be trampled on and be forced to give up his rights. He has the withholding of the Get option to ascertain that he does not get any raw deal here. Don’t be stupid by saying first give the Get and then we’ll negotiate. He gives the Get and it’s so over. He can forget about getting anything that he rightfully deserves. You get punched in the face, you don’t hold nothin back. You access whatever resource is at your disposal. Bunch of foolish goons in here. Keep you mouths zipped before you know all the facts. And those of you who comment and tell the Weiss that, hey, she doesn’t wanna be married to him anymore…. Duh…. Don’t you think the Weiss’ know it’s over? That’s not why he’s withholding the Get to perhaps try to work things out. What are you people smoking?!?!?!

      • The only one smoking crack here is YOU.

        There is absolutely NO excuse to withhold a Get. It makes NO difference what she did. Even if she burnt his house down he still cannot withhold it.

        I’m sure she is not innocent, but that is something to sort out at a Beis Din or civil court. Giving the Get is NOT negotiable!!!

        • Where do you people get your crazy ideas? On what do you base your assertion that either spouse is entitled to a divorce on demand and the even crazier notion that either party is entitled to dovorce on demand AND to settle all the issues between them AFTEF the divorce.

          Divorce should be complete, not a la carte. Neither side has the right to demand a partial divorce, which is what you’d have if you gave/received a get but were still entitled to negotiate the terms of the divorce.

          Try disolving a partnership by demanding that your partner release you from all obligations in writing before you discuss releasing your partner from his obligations. Let me know how that works out for you.

          Again, commenting without knowing the facts is foolish.

    29. I wonder what the Chofetz Chaim would say regarding this situation? Is an aggrieved person permitted to throw a private dispute into the public forum, thus engendering debate and the inevitable Lashon Harah?

    30. This case is currently in the news, but this issue isn’t being dealt with. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of agunos, whose husbands are holding them hostage. Maybe shaming and naming the recalcitrant husbands will be effective if their families realize that they also have a lot to lose.

      Sad to say, but the oiylam has to do something themselves.

    31. There are situations where the girl makes unrealistic demands in alimony, custody, and child support, that make it impossible for the boy to just hand over the get. There are two sides to every story and don’t think otherwise.

      • Why did she go to secular court before a get was received.I know too many woman who go to secular court to take her husband for anything and everything and than he holds back a get and she goes crying on facebooks. real tzadakus

        • You clearly have no idea what is going on. He – Weiss took her Dodelson to court for custody. There are court documents you can see that will clearly show you he was the plaintiff and she was the defendant and the court awarded him joint legal custody. Furthermore, at the time, HE asked for his legal fees paid and asked for child support, both things the court denied him. You and everyone else who keep claiming it was she who took him to court or she who made demands, are incorrect. He did not like the courts decision and now wants a do-over with arbitration. Boo hoo for him. The Get needs to be given regardless. It has been 4 years, there is absolutely no reasonable justification for withholding the get.

          • “He – Weiss took her Dodelson to court for custody.”

            But, the counter סירוב from the בי”ד שער המשפט says just the opposite:

            ועד כדי שמאשימים את הבעל בשקר כאילו הוא תובע אותה בערכאות בו בזמן ששלח להם ניירות הערכאות המראים להיפך שהיא תובעת אותו ועל סמך שקר זה הוציאו עליו סירוב מעות ומזויף להשמיצו ברבים

            Please explain.

    32. it doesnt matter who is right or wrong…give her a get dont manipulate torah for your advantage…the more the weiss’ dragged this out the worse it looks….from reading both sides it doesnt look good on the wiess’ they look like ego maniacs…just let it go and gived ur daughter in law a get….stop the bs…artscroll is going to drop you if this doesnt get resolved asap…

    33. Many of you will wonder what drives a husband who is a respectful member in his community to do such an evil deed like withholding a GET and chain his former wife as an Aguna.
      The answer typically lies in your backyard, and I suggest you look at your Rabbi. Many of these agnua cases have similar classic traits. The spouse’s family is wealthy, and they are determined to teach the husband a lesson. With that “I’ll show him” attitude they start off by buying off Rabbi’s, lawyers and arbitrators. Then they are confident with their first move, which is typically withholding the children from their father to a point of taking it to court in an attempted to have the husband banned from visiting his children. Her family was hoping that the Weiss’s will simply run out of money fighting and dragging their feet in courts. But the father was determined to so he fought for his rights with money he didn’t have. At this point he is only trying to recover the money he spent fighting for a right every human is entitled to.
      You think Epstein and his gang were some Aguna savers? They were criminals who enriched themselves with GET disputes. Continued…..

    34. And this is just a fraction of the corruption happening in our community. Our Rabbis are responsible for this mess. They make a living off these and other disputes. They have no interest in stopping any of this. Dodelson keeps sending checks and everyone is happy. And when he realized after a while that these rabbanim are not delivering, he hired a PR agency who opened an innocent looking “save gital” website, a Facebook fan page and spamming every news outlet, in hopes of someone picking up their story. They are acting out now out of desperation, and so is the husband. Withholding the GET is his last and only bullet, and he’s acting out of desperation that is driven by your local corrupted rabbi.

    35. Anyone who withholds a get or chalitzah is a TERRORIST. DON’T deal with terrorists – it only causes more terrorism. I know. I am a yevama since Sept 5, 2011. I will NEVER give in to a ransom demand. NEVER. A Get/Chalitzah is NEVER to be used as leverage or to level a playing field. And if it is used, it NEVER WORKS. GIVE THE GET or CHALITZAH and move on. There are NO 2 sides – if you think there are 2 sides you’re CLUELESS – the Torah’s purpose is SHALOM NOT EXTORTION. Anyone who withholds a get /chalitzah is a rodef and should be treated as such. If the community doesn’t stand up for their agunahs and all other victims of abuse now, don’t cry when the tzara knocks at your door. FIX IT NOW before there are more victims, before your close loved one becomes a victim. We NEVER EXPECT TO BE A VICTIM UNTIL…..where will you go? I’ll tell you where…NOWHERE, because there’s nowhere to go now. No one has the guts to stand up and fix the system. I WILL STAND UP, but I can’t do it alone. GIVE GITAL HER GET – if you don’t support the get you deserve the vitriolic, horrific treatment your family receives.

    36. WOW! This is so interesting, no one knows any of the sides here, including me, but everyone is judging this whole story and taking sides.

      now let me see when this wouldve been you ir your son in this situation what you wouldve said, I am sure you wouldve said oh lets forget about the child just give a get and go on with life, let me see how many here wouldve done it.

    37. Weiss Family: After four years of “negotiations”, it is obvious that this is about money.

      Their visitation rights are standard and need not hold up a get for 4 years.
      They are obviously looking for increased child support payments, stipend, for their kollel learner and a large sum payment to cover additional lawyer fees.
      I believe this is called extortion.

      This situation is so disturbing on so many levels.

    38. 1. To those people who said that her going public wouldn’t force the Get any faster. It seems that they are suddenly talking about resolving this quickly.

      2. To those of you saying that a woman often makes unreasonable demands and therefore the man can hold the Get as leverage. Well in this case it seems her demands were agreed to in a court if law . And if you don’t like the courts here, then go move somewhere else.

      3. No one has so far disputed that the guy is a control freak.

      4. In beisdin, who do you think would more likely get the raw deal? The man or the woman? Do you complain when the woman gets the bad deal?

    39. For all I know it all these negetive comments could be posted by the same person related to the wife side or maybe even the wife herself. I read a lot of comments on Vin News and these comments all full of knowledge about the case make me believe that the wifes side which opened the facebook page etc. are writing comment after comment!

    40. This is a chillul Hashem if immense proportions. Rabbi Weiss we implore you to just grant the get already. There is no reason to continue to delay. If this is about money, show just a little bit of bitachon in the Aibeshter. For the good of your einekel and so that the klal isn’t embarrassed anymore…for the kavod if your shver zatzal and for your own shalom bayis, please just grant the get. I’m a major financial supporter of Artscroll, and I may just have to call my friend R’ Sherman and threaten to withdraw my pledges for upcoming projects if he doesn’t remove you from your position. Let’s just resolve this now…no more negotiating. Thank you.

    41. When frum victims of child molestation went to the media, rabbis were furious about it. Activists were labeled mosrim by many ignorant Hasidim. It turned out to be one of the most positive turns in frum society, curbing molestation drastically by getting predators out of positions that endanger children (melamdim, tutors and the like). In retrospect the spotlight the media brought had a very positive outcome. Hopefully this aguna who went public with her story will accomplish the same, leading rabonim and askonim to question the status quo and proactively seek solutions to both help the current agunot and brainstorm ideas for preventing it from happening in the future bez”h.

    42. Only by imposing even more pain and tzoros on both Weiss Sr. and Jr. will she finally obtain her get…she has exhausted all reasonable efforts and has worked thorugh the beis din. Anyone who can find new and innovative way to hurt these selfish and cruel yidden who deny a get will be doing this woman and tzibur a big favor.

    43. I met Mrs. Dodelson (Gital’s mother) at a vort a few days before Pesach. She was on her way to the airport, as the family has gone to her parents in Israel for the entire Pesach for many years. Only now (perhaps for the past couple of years) they had to first make Pesach because they had to come back in the middle to allow the grandson to spend half the Yom Tov with his father’s family. That sounded to me like doing quite a lot of work to be accommodating of visitation rights.

      • “87. Hana_B Says:  I met Mrs. Dodelson (Gital’s mother) at a vort a few days before Pesach. She was on her way to the airport, as the family has gone to her parents in Israel for the entire Pesach for many years. Only now (perhaps for the past couple of years) they had to first make Pesach because they had to come back in the middle to allow the grandson to spend half the Yom Tov with his father’s family. That sounded to me like doing quite a lot of work to be accommodating of visitation rights.”

        Very nice – but they could’ve easily gone to Israel and left the child with the father for the entire Pesach – nobody forced them to stay.

    44. If the marriage is over, give a divorce and be done with it. even the most difficult cases don’t need to take four years to settle. It’s the power a jewish man unfortunately has over a woman. Withholding a get is evil!!!

    45. To rabbi Weiss, as you obviously realize, this case is causing a tremendous chillul Hashem which even yom kipur won’t forgive. So let’s think how to prevent it.
      1. When you are called to beis din, go, don’t look for dead people to represent you. Go yourself .
      2. Don’t like the beis din, choose another accepted beis din, not the one nobody accepts .
      3.when a ksav seiruv is issued against you ,stop running to other batei

    46. Let us analyze what happened here, the little we know. The husband may have upset the wife on a few occasions. While this was terribly wrong and he should ask mechila, but there is not a single marriage where there is not ever any tension. Leika ksuva dlo ramu bah tigra. We don’t know the facts of any of these arguments, other than what one side reported, but let’s give benefit of doubt to her.

      However, what she did was infinitely worse. To abscond shortly after the birth of the child, and announce the marriage is over, and this poor child will never experience a normal family life with two parents who love him at the same shabbos table, is beyond words. She destroyed this poor child, and her husband in the process. Visitation is no substitute for constant parental involvement, and a stable home. Halacha does not anywhere condone this type of flying the coop. In addition, the major responsibility of chinuch, educating sons, is upon the father, to learn with them at nights, etc. This will never happen. Problems can be worked out in a marriage, and they don’t necessarily require a counselor for every disagreement. Every marriage has its nisyonos. Remember the gemara about the amora who had an evil wife, who would deliberately serve him the opposite of what he asked for. He said she has two good traits, she raises the kids, and prevents me from sin, so I will not divorce her. That is maturity. Not running away with a newborn.

      She should realize that only in the movies and la la land is there a perfect marriage.

    47. There are 4 types of people posting here:
      1. People who know the pain of the wife and use all sorts of hyperbole to show how wrong the Weiss are
      2 people who are friends with the Weiss and despite the fact that deep down in their hearts they know that there is no justification to holding back a get for 4 years feel a sense of friendship for the Weiss family and can not come to believe that they are wrong
      3. people like me who don’t know either side and have no clue who was wrong in this relationship. we realize that even if every thing the Weiss claim is true there is still no justification for withholding a get and doing what g-d wants a person to do.
      and then there is group 4
      the fourth group are miserable men who treat there wives horribly and are afraid that there wife will realize what kind of low lives they are.
      to group 1 I say stay strong and help your friend. to group 2 I say while it is admiral that you help your friend the real way to help him is convince him to give a get asap to group 3 I say let’s daven that thatthis chillul hashem will stop and let’s put pressure on art scroll to help end this. and to group 4 I say GET INTO THERAPY ASAP!!!!

      • And there is a 5th group that is totally oblivious to the real victim here, the poor child, who was never even given a chance to have a stable home with 2 loving parents. Within a short time after his birth, his mother took off, instead of trying to work out whatever difficulties there were. Didn’t even give the marriage a year, where there was the welfare of a child involved. Perhaps watching the child grow and develop, and seeing his first smile together, and his first words, and his starting to take steps would have generated closeness and happiness in the couple, and they would have forgotten their past grievances. Instead, at the first sign of difficulty, which every marriage has, even good ones, the wife ran back to her parents, and issued a life sentence on her child, to never know a proper home.

        Maybe had she known there is no halachic reason for the husband to issue a get under those circumstances, and the Torah deliberately didn’t want divorce, except as an absolute last resort, she would have acted like an adult and gone back to try to save her marriage for the sake of her child. Perhaps there is still time for her to reconsider. Imagine the kiddush hashem it would be if these two well-known families could make shalom and demonstrate to all klal yisroel that the child comes first.

          • Yes, everybody is taking sides with either the husband or the wife. I am taking the side of the child. Both parents need to put the whole thing behind them, get back together, fix the marriage, raise the child in a family unit, and live happily ever after.

        • Hold your judgmental horses there. That is very easy for you to say since you are NOT the woman in this picture who’s Chosson was so displeased with her that he forgot he was supposed to be sameach Kallah the first year of marriage but most especially during Sheva Brochos. did YOU forget what you learned in Chasson/Kallah class?????

          And if he thought HE had the final say of which doctor SHE was to use, and if SHE was so hurt by his treatment of her during her pregnancy that she HAD to leave him, then why should she trust HER child to be raise by him without the benefit of LEGAL jurisdiction? And remember that it is HE who went to court, not she. AND also remember that the Judge is NOT stupid and recognized who he was dealing with and did NOT give his claims any credibility. It was HE who was afraid to go to Bais Din and follow Halacha not SHE. HE refused to do this according to Halacha, so remember here who was the one that didn’t consider the welfare of the child nor the wife.

        • No you didn’t, you judged the mother and expected her to stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of the child even though she knew that the child would also be exposed to his abusive and controlling nature. What would YOU subject your child to?

          • Regarding your last post and the one about the choosing the doctor issue. In a marriage, things are supposed to be done together, not unilaterally. To what extent, may depend on the couple. But to give some examples, let’s say the wife is the breadwinner, and one day goes out and buys a new house in a new neighborhood, without telling the husband, and then announces, we are moving. When the husband finds out, and voices an objection, the wife cries, he’s so controlling. Or suppose she unilaterally enrolled the child in a school without discussing the pros and cons with her husband, and then he is told this, and is upset, and she again accuses him of being controlling. Everything needs to be discussed together, before one partner takes action. While some husbands couldn’t care less about their wife’s doctor, some may find it uncomfortable to have a male examine her, and prefer a female. Or some may be worried that doctor A trained in a less reputable place than doctor B, and could pose a safety hazard to mother and child. Most husbands would give in to their wives about almost anything, provided they discuss it together. But many would mind their wives making unilateral decisions. Same as if a husband went and bought a new set of shabbos dishes, without taking his wife to the store and letting her pick out what colors she likes. Do things together, especially in beginning, when you don’t yet know what things are important and what are not to the spouse.

    48. Sherree, you could be the poster child for my “Only a Fool Would Take Sides in this Divorce Based on What S/He Read in the Media” campaign.

      Halachah does not provide for divorce on demand by either spouse nor does it condone holding a spouse hostage.

      One of these two people, perhaps both, appear to be following Halachah selectively. The notion that anyone of us knows where the blame belongs more is absurd. I for one question the sanity of anyone who thinks they can decide the right and wrong of this case based on the allegations and defenses both sides offer.

      • Read the legal documents and the proof being shown. Then use some common sense. The custody why decided by the court fairly and equally. What more does this father think he deserves. i can understand if the court was not fair to him, or if he had gone to Bais Din and they favored her because of her Choshuv family over his. But that is not the case and there is no reason to withhold the GET. Furthermore, there is an email from Ronnie Greenwald on the website that shows that he was asked to be the arbitrator but refused. So what Mr. Weiss is referring to is a suggestion he made but that is all it was.

        If more people took an interest in helping women in such situations we would have a much fairer and less skewered bais din system. Furthermore, there would be a lot less Frum people going off the derech!

        • You’ve seen documents that one side wants you to see. If you are old enough to use a computer you should be old enough to understand that the side running the PR campaign will only show those documents that bolster their case.

          There are also claims that the documents have been doctored before being posted.

          There is no halachah that requires a man to give a get on demand or that requires a woman to accept a get on her husbands demand. There also doesn’t seem to be any halachah which requires a spouse to surrender because four years have passed.

          The fact that negotiations have dragged our for four years does not mean anything in and of itself.

          Incidentally, not that this discounts whatever claims she may have against her husband, but most of this mess could have been avoided had the couple signed a prenuptial agreement but alas, Gitel’s family disapproves of the RCA and YU where halachic prenuptial agreements enjoy the greatest support.

          • Are you saying that the Feinsteins do approve of the RCA prenups??????
            I didn’t know that. Thanks for clearing that up.

            As far as the documents being doctored. You are the first to bring up that claim!!! And that can be easily cleared up by contacting R’ Ronnie Greenwald. So go at it. I am sure he can email you so there is no question to its validity.

            Furthermore, once the negotiations have been worked out and the court ordered custody is decided, there are NO OTHER NEGOTIATIONS necessary.

      • BTW, isn’t it interesting that this story did NOT appear hear on this site until Mr. Weiss had something to say? When it appeared in the post and only Ms. Dodelson wished to go public, this story was not VIN newsworthy.

    49. At risk of belaboring the point, there could also be other considerations regarding wife’s doctor. One spouse may feel a frum doctor is best, because if any halachic issues come up he/she would understand. The other spouse may feel that the last person in the world they want taking care of them or knowing their personal info is somebody they may meet at a simcha, for privacy reasons, or who could accidentally spread info, like via a slip of tongue to a family member, which then gets into larger frum community.

      What happened here seems like a total miscommunication/misinterpretation/misunderstanding of valid concerns on both sides which got out of control. It is like a small toothache, which may just be a cavity, but if left to fester, could turn into a root canal or an extraction/implant. Nevertheless, the whole thing can be repaired, and should be done for the good of the child.

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