BNEI BRAK (VosIzNeias) — A Yeshiva bochur who got engaged last week discovered to his consternation that his Rosh Yeshiva, rebbes and friends did not show up to the vort and will most likely not even attend his wedding. The reason? The bochur is considered too young by his yeshiva to be getting married, since he is only in the fourth shiur, known as “kibbutz aleph”. The yeshiva’s policy is not to allow bochurim to get married before kibbutz beis or their fifth year in the yeshiva(generally this is about age 21)
The bochur who got engaged is the son of a prominent Talmid Chacham and attends the prestigious Ponovezh yeshiva in Bnei Brak, but the yeshiva has placed a moratorium on getting married before kibbutz beis and forbids bochurim from participating in such simchas. This practice is prevalent in a number of Yeshivos in Israel, since the Roshei Yeshiva are concerned that the weddings will cause a loss of intensity among the other bochurim in that age group and this will impact on their learning and on the rest of the Yeshiva’s studies.
It should be noted that in Chasidic yeshivas the bochurim are encouraged to get married early, at age 18 or 19, in accordance with the Mishna “Eighteen is the age to wed.”