Dr Ditchek: People Davening With Minyanim ARE COWARDS – EVERY ONE OF YOU

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NEW YORK (VINnews) — Dr. Stuart Ditchek, who has been on the front lines of the fight against unsafe practices amid the COVID-19 pandemic, has released a new pertinent message.

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In the audio message below, Dr. Ditchek details the horrible destruction he is witnessing firsthand in the hospitals, and pleas with the public to stop davening in secret Minyanim.

He makes a specific point to shame the people who are not taking the matter seriously and are conducting Minyanim with impunity.

In addition, Dr. Ditchek questions the reversal of the leadership of Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood for issuing a complete reversal of the original ruling that was released over Pesach to ban all outdoor “porch” Minyanim. In a phonecall held with a prominent Lakewood Rav, Ditchek verified that the reversal to now permit these Minyanim came from the BMG leadership, while the uniform opinion of all other major Lakewood Rabbanim is to still strongly uphold the ban.

Not only that, but of the 3 doctors mentioned in BMG’s reverse ruling, one openly admitted to not having agreed to have his name added. When questioned as to why he didn’t fight to have it removed, or release a counter statement, he only said “It’s complicated.” One speculates as to what can be going on behind the scenes to make this doctor feel so pressured.


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268 Comments
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Chayepurple
Chayepurple
4 years ago

Pictures should be taken of all the people who refuse to listen to social distancing . Dont give them medical care !

מי שמך לאיש
מי שמך לאיש
4 years ago

If the askonum in Lakewood spoke to the appropriate health parties of the state and they were told porch minyanim are okay under certain guidelines then this dr could jump up and down and do what he wants but he should just shut up.
EDITOR: THE PROBLEM IS THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE COPYING THE PORCH MINYANIM MODEL – YET IGNORING THE GUIDELINES. THIS IS KNOWN AS ‘EE EFSHAR LETZAMTZEM’ AND IT IS CAUSING MORE DEATHS AND HOSPITALIZATIONS.

Friend of Educated Archie
Friend of Educated Archie
4 years ago

The bottom line is why don’t the doctor stand by groceries and see how there is no distancing. Porch minyans are safe when conducted right. Otherwise why is shopping in drug stores,groceries and banks ok. When this doctor tells us to get rid of all liberal democrats who hate religious Jews then will listen. This virus was caused and promoted by democRATs.
Make no mistake. Trump wanted to shut the borders with China and these democRATic bums screamed racism.

Moshe
Moshe
4 years ago

The “new” minyan guidelines do NOT have any Dr. listed. #fakenews

Jay
Jay
4 years ago

I personally did not daven with a minyan the past few weeks because I did not go to shul and nor do I have a minyan yidden on my street, but frankly, if we’d have a minyan between a few neighbors I dont see what the big deal is if we all go out in front of our homes or backyards and daven. The other day I pumped gas at a Costco gas station and had at least 10 or more other people pumping at the same time within the 300 square yards. So pumping gas is ok but if we’d pray it would have been an issue? (This is just one example) I dont get why people are stuck and so adamant with outdoor “minyanim”…

mrbrklyn
mrbrklyn
4 years ago

Whatever… he is cracking under the pressure..

Logical
Logical
4 years ago

י שמך לאיש

Are you insane?? If your parent or loved one or friend would be fighting for their lives on a vent, would you be posting this nonsense??
Grow up, and stop promoting רציחה.

Read over what you posted, are you “proud”, or just plain immature, and stupid?

R’L

Sam hirsch
Sam hirsch
4 years ago

My friend does chevrah Kadisha work in Brooklyn. He has done 50 corona “taharas” since April 1st. He has done 5 non corona taharas. Please please take this seriously. The downside of not taking this seriously heavily outweighs the upside that a “rov” is promising. Stop going to minyanim. Stop gathering together. Stay at home. Be there for your family.

RP
RP
4 years ago

What about shultalkers why are they not the blame.

Flatbush yid
Flatbush yid
4 years ago

New York has turned into sodom. So why is everyone surprised that there is this destruction. Where are our leaders. Monsey and crown heights rubbed shoulders not so long ago and allowed the ADL anti Torah group to join them in their publicity seeking shtick. Who knows why these communities have been hit hard per capita. The whole morality has gone out the window on so many issues. The elected officials are corrupt and we yes we support them.

Chaim
Chaim
4 years ago

No doubt the good Dr means only the best for all of us. However, his bundling of all minyanim into one category of issur does an injustice to his cause.

The reality is that there are ways to do minyan that are safe (where the likelihood of disease transmission is extremely low). Porch minyanim where visitors are not allowed are happening. Family minyanim are happening in large families. And social distanced (6 ft) minyanim are being allowed in Israel.
These minyanim when done right are safe, and while the Dr and his daas Torah are welcome to believe and pasken that there is a ‘lo plug’; not all to daas Torah need agree.

It is the case that numerous chassidic rabbonim allow porch minyanim , and that carries over to Flatbush.
It is also the case that Lakewood had a unique ‘aiva’ problem that boro park and Flatbush don’t have. Thus, a ‘lo plug’ is much more sensical there.

I am horrified to hear of the Kiddush, and of shuls that are open. I applaud the Dr for his early efforts to shut many of these down. I do however think that he’s probably over estimated his and his rabbonim’s ability to sway a large part of NYC orthodox Jews on porch minyanim.

The Truth
The Truth
4 years ago

Hes known to have lied many times before about this topic, let the proof be in the pudding. let him release a recording of his so called ” 10 minute phone conversation with R’ Dovid Cohen and LKWD rabonim” . I have first hand knowledge of one of the flatbush rabonim, calling R’ Dovid Cohen a few weeks ago to verify a so called p’sak that R’ Dovid gave him about be able to mechalel shabbos and moser to call the police on minyamin (facebook post on M’S 4-4-20) , and R’ Dovid vehemently denied it, and told him , Its totally assur to moser and needless to say on shabbos. If you look at the changed p’sak put out on friday from lkwd, you will see all the same Rabbonim who asured it on Chol Hamoed, reassessed their psak and came out with a new one.

Moshe
Moshe
4 years ago

what an absolute liar! Rabbi Forscheimer did not blame the BMG leadership! He personally signed the letter that porch minyanim are ok! The Israeli govt just allowed outdoor minyanim up to 19 people. Are they also Rodfim??

ah yid
ah yid
4 years ago

I agreed with Dr. Ditchek until the first day of Pesach. I also said, “the doctors are calling these people roschim.” I still agree with him. As a matter of fact on block there is a “porch minyon” which has people standing outside, so I don’t go there. (The porch minyonim that are ‘ish al diglo’ I don’t see a problem) By the last day of Pesach I decided that until Moshiach comes not too much can change. Not people going to family for meals. Not Minyonim. Not going to Mikva. Not chasanas, not kiddish, Not vacations. Nothing really will change unless forced to change by the police like in Erez Yisroel. The reason is simple, I Personally have a rov that is not only a rov for shailos. He is my mora derech. When my rov sent out a message everyone in shul should quarantine I did so. When he said don’t daven with a minyon in homes I listened. There are many people in this catagory. BUT, The fact is many people don’t have a “rov”. They davenin in one shul for shachris a second shul for mincha and a third for marriv. On Shabbos they may daven in the local shtible. For many many yidden they have no one to guide them in such situations. Some small shul Rabbonim may be big talmidei chachomim but some are run as a business and the rabbonim don’t have the power to close the shul. A second problem which also can’t really be rectified is technology. Many in our community don’t have internet, don’t listen to the radio, they don’t read newspapers many are truly clueless and what they know is usually hearsay. This is especially true for buchurim. I have a not-frum acquaintance who questioned me about the large crowd that went to a levaya. I pointed out that in the non-jewish world if someone wants a crowed they post on social media and in a minute you can have your riot. These people came as individuals they heard a great person passed away so they came. I wasn’t condoning the action but I got him to understand these people weren’t just looking to disobey the rules they truly didn’t realize the seriousness of their actions. My final point, the only one that you can change is yourself. Lets us daven the best we can. Learn more Torah, do more chesed and don’t worry about anyone else. It won’t help anyway. AND BE ESPECIALLY CAREFUL NOT TO TALK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE.

Good Jew
Good Jew
4 years ago

Git voch and gazinten Zimmer
I would like to point out that while we believe everything is from Hashem we also know that Hashem has given us the mandate of doing our BEST down hare and be very Clare according to all doctors of the world our BEST right now is “STAY HOME “ STAY HOME “

No on is saying that it’s safe to go to grocery or pump gas or pharmacy etc
All thay are saying is thay can’t stop it and asking people to only do minimal shopping as possible
And do online phone

What is so hard to understand if it would be possible everyone should “STAY HOME”
Till this is done and over

Hoping that people can come to there sense and just STAY HOME and save life’s

Gersey
Gersey
4 years ago

If you don’t want to follow mandates that are designed to protect the public health, then sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) now & not use the precious resources of our 1st responders. One has to wonder why they is so much anti-semitism out there, power corrupts, and when Reb Chaim says NO minyanim, that is the halachah.

Michael Bar Daniel
Michael Bar Daniel
4 years ago

If only the people risking pikuach nefesh to make a minyan to Molech (sacrificing their family as worship) would focus their energy on binyan Beis haBechira

Chasid
Chasid
4 years ago

I’m sure the doctor means well
but I sure hope that he worries for the patients in mimonadies hospital who go through so much pain.
No one gives them food and And no one looks out for them that’s also a big shame as I hope the doctor worries about that too
For the gross negligence and rude behavior that that hospital showed to patients

rabbigreenspan
rabbigreenspan
4 years ago

this was all coordinated with state government so maybe explain which laws you are referring to

Educated Archy
Educated Archy
4 years ago

They spoke to the govt to ensure they follow the law . Case closed

BillyW
BillyW
4 years ago

Another nail in the Yeshiva velt’s coffin. The show is being run by a 92 year old, 6,000 miles away with unknown cognitive abilities who’s completely cutoff from the world outside of what his “Handlers” want him to know and not aware enough to know he’s being played. Unlike every leader in the past who investigated the facts before answering, he’s been labeled a “Living Urim Vetumim” who speaks directly to Hashem. This has led to how many thousands of deaths by keeping the Yeshivas open without asking what the Corona Virus is? Even now could he tell us anything about it or does he just know there’s a “Magefah”?
The Rabbi’s at BMG are no better. They know even if it’s possible to make safe porch Minyanim it’ll cause many violations of safety measures by people who “bend the rules just a little”
That a Doctor who should be the epitome of ethical behavior and living by the mantra “Do no harm” can be “Bullied” by the Rabbis to keep quite is quite telling.
In reality Chanukah was a fight between righteous Jews and a “Jewish Mafia” who allied with the Greeks and used Bully tactics to persecute the good Yidden. Brave Yidden were willing to rise up to cast of this Mafia of Bullies, Extortioners, and Scam artists. Are any Yidden willing to do the same today?

#StopTheHate
#StopTheHate
4 years ago

Do you know what a “porch minyan” is? Going out to your own porch and davening with others on their porch. There are no two families on one porch. Porches are twenty feet away from each other. Is there a problem with you during on your porch and your neighbor on his porch at the same time?
There is no doctor on the BMG letter!
#KnowFacts
#StopTheHate

In the zechis of stopping the spread of hate Hashem should stop the spread of the virus!

#FakeNews
#FakeNews
4 years ago

“Ditchek verified that the reversal to now permit these Minyanim came from the BMG leadership, while the uniform opinion of all other major Lakewood Rabbanim is to still strongly uphold the ban.”
NAMES of your Rabbanim PLEASE??!!
There are names on the letter, why can’t you say which you spoke to that oppose these safe and legal minyanim?

#NeverHappened

ruby
ruby
4 years ago

is this the dr that wrote to trump asking for 10,000 more vents for ny – FACT- WE BH DONT NEED THEM
A friend of mine was a patient in the javitz center out of a thousand beds 80 are full
the big tent in miamonidies on 10th avenue was not even used for patients
THE BIG BOAT is sitting there with a small number of people
WHAT HAPPENED- in the old days askanim went to gedolim asking what issues should i bring up to goverment officicials …
TODAY; the askan tries to gain points by the politician , showing them ” look i got the rabbis to listen & shut “

Mind your own business
Mind your own business
4 years ago

And who exactly promoted this Dr. to the chief of the “antiminyan police force”? Many Doctors that I knew personally are davening with minyanim that are compliant with distancing rules. This guy should start minding his own business. He is not the decision maker for klal yisroel.

ruby
ruby
4 years ago

one more point;
as bad as bp got hit ( very bad) since yomtov where almost everyone has had street minyanim ..pre yomtov shopping… its 12 days now since shabbos hagadol with ZERO uptick i follow the data very closely ( from hatzoloh scanner to shorei hadas ) yes there were too many levayos of people who were sick for weeks
THE ANSWER IS – that frum neighborhoods that are extremly dense all got it purim time a family in 3 bedrooms with 6 kids cannot quarintine.
as one very emese godol said maybe we got hit hard because we closed the shuls/ yeshivas & lost our zechus kiyum , did previous gedolim ever close shuls in history ?

Daniel Cohen
Daniel Cohen
4 years ago

It’s simple. You know of a minyan? You call the cops. I have done so, and will continue to do so, and you should do the same.

anonymous
anonymous
4 years ago

The truth is this has nothing to do with the Rabbonim. If a Yid steals your car you dont call your Rabbi, you call the police (Without even asking for a Heter) This is much worse. This is Pikuach Nefes.

Gabbai_1
Gabbai_1
4 years ago

No one seems to be discussing the elephant in the room, which is – for how long? The rationale so far has been, “It’s only for a couple of weeks/months, that’s a reasonable trade-off to help stop the spread.” But every 2 weeks we hear, just another 2 more weeks … The politicians & media are also gearing us up for the long haul, as the year “2021” is showing up in more and more articles as a reopening date. Cuomo last week said this will not be over until a vaccine is found, which is at least 12-18 months away. Does that mean no minyanim as long as there is no vaccine and someone could still get infected, even after this first wave dies down? A likely scenario is that work reopens out of sheer necessity, but minyanim are put into the category with other public events, e.g. high-risk and therefore still banned (or severely restricted)- are we ok with that?

RAV KATZ
RAV KATZ
4 years ago

after you read the clear guidelines of the porch minyan ,you will see for yourself why almost every Dr and Rov
here in Lakewood said they are fine!!The Dr means well but here in Lakewood there is no kiddish of 30 people after any minyan ,rather lots of tehillim is said for all the choilim.Please keep up your good work and hope you
understand as R Choen does that in the Lakewood porch minyan situation things are clearly diff. then in Brooklyn,

Joel
Joel
4 years ago

This doctor is not going about it the right way.
He needs to use actual facts, not hyperbole, appeals to emotions and spooky stories.
Why are minyanim with each family on their own back porch a problem? Why can’t we have a minyan with everyone on their front lawn? People are 20 to 30 feet away from each other, where is the danger?
Quote actual facts, not discredited studies. Tell us why, not stories of chassidishe ladies and churban quotes.
I am not disagreeing with him, I am just saying that his methodology is unscientific and unintellectual

Stop spreading lies
Stop spreading lies
4 years ago

You’re a sick hater. You’re no different then the anti Semitic on social media.

Lakewood is full lock down.
A porch minyan is 100 safe everyone is in there own area and far from each other. It has Been approved by the governors office. (I don’t have the opportunity to join, have no porch ).

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

If you were, as me, 81 and recovered from a most traumatic experience with the conoravirus a lot of views on on the subject, expressed here, would change

Kol hkovod
Kol hkovod
4 years ago

Dr.Ditchek,

It’s obivious that you care deeply for your fellow Jews. May Borei olam bless all your efforts.

I do feel that you are incorrect in imposing your Rabbi’s (Rabbi Dovid Cohen of Gvul Yavetz) halacahic decisions universally. He is not an accepted Posek in many circles.

Take the town, I am fortunate to live in Lakewood, NJ. We are blessed with world renowned posekim shlita who render decision for tens of thousands of people kayin yirbu. Other Charedei communities have their poskeim shlita.

If you want to influence the general Charedei public, I humbly suggest that you cease qouting your Rov and talk directly to the accepted posekim in each town.

Continued Hatzlocah!

Frustrated
Frustrated
4 years ago

Why on earth do we need minyanim at a time where so many people are sick and dying?
You need to go to a supermarket so you can eat. You do not NEED to go to minyan. Even if you keep social distancing, do you really believe that if there are groups of people gathering 3x a day all over lakewood, no one will cough, sneeze of breathe near someone else???? They’ll really never get closer than 6 feet when they try to shmooze or pass each other???? Those 10+ people can then go home and infect entire families, neighbors, or the neighborhood supermarket! Why on Earth would you risk it at this time? You can daven without a minyan! Going out should be limited to the essentials and that’s it! Why would you purposely increase opportunities for this virus to spread???

Jihad
Jihad
4 years ago

Usernamedeleted you sound happy with yourself.how did you do it ???

Jihad
Jihad
4 years ago

More dangerous than any covid 19 virus is the machlokes and bizayon talmidai chachomim responding .i am a non player in the game so i keep my sewer main sealed shut.the good dr is well meaning even if you dont agree with him.

Kid Of Courage parent
Kid Of Courage parent
4 years ago

This Doctor supervised a Kids of Courage weekend where the Corona Virus violently spread among children with cancer He has failed to take response-ability for his Reshus He should stop pointing blame others he should look in the Mirror

Abe
Abe
4 years ago

Dr Ditchek are you allowed to go outside for some fresh air on your porch?
So why should praying in that fashion be problematic?
the Lakewood guidelines dictate that everybody should stay on their own private porch!
Stop spreading false stories!!

Sk
Sk
4 years ago

Dr. Ditchek, it’s admirable what you are doing, looking out for fellow Jews and making sure that all are healthy and safe.
However, porch minyanim are NOT secret minyanim. They are out in the open. 1) the one on my block, for all the people that are in the Courtyard they are requiring (not six feet) 8 feet between people, and the Gabbai is strict about it. 2) Everyone else is on their porch.
3) Kraias HaTorah based on a psak from HaRav Bransdorfer, no one is approaching the Seder Torah, they make the bracha from where they are. People too far away are not given an Aliya.

So to say that you need to keep six feet away and then say that porch minyanim are no good because they aren’t is WRONG.
In addition, the WWW is not a place to site your grievances. Call the Rabbonim, discuss it with them and convince them, and if you succeed they will tell their mispallalim to stop. However, they have also been speaking to other doctors (I don’t believe you, Dr. Ditchek, are the only medical professional that knows anything. However, your method is creating hatred within klal Yisroel and eiva to the outside world. Stop posting on forums. If you really mean it seriously then get in the phone and speak to a Rabbonim. Contrary to many people’s beliefs they do listen, but they listen to all medical opinions.
In the zchus of not creating a loshon hora environment we hope Hashem will rescue us from this situation
Thank you.

Binyan Adei Ad
Binyan Adei Ad
4 years ago

To Abe, as well as to many others. Yes, if a specific minyan follows the guidelines exactly, then maybe that minyan wont cause a spread of the virus. But unfortunately, as we all know, many many people and minyanim will end up not following the guidelines exactly, as has and is already happening, and the virus will continue to spread. We have to be concerned about everyone even those that may not be as smart or responsible as you.

David Cohen
David Cohen
4 years ago

This disease almost killed me, I was hospitalized over Pesach and I’m fortunate B”H to be alive. You don’t want to go through what I went through, I don’t wish this on anyone. So I have no tolerance for idiots who think they know better or are not vulnerable. Any Rav who allows or encourages minyanim, prioritizing a De’Rabanan of Tefillah B’Tzibbur over a De’Raisah of saving lives is a shoteh and an Am Hararetz at best, a rotzeach more likely. Use your brain, that’s why Hakodosh Barchu gave you one. Please, take this seriously, look at the daily list of deaths, people dying alone and not even having respectable levayas and shivshs, there is nothing that can ever justify adding to that list.

KShomron
KShomron
4 years ago

Reading what’s going in NY/Lakewood/Monsey, and the conversations in this thread, I think you’re real problem isn’t COVID-19. It’s much deeper than that. May Hashem have mercy on all of you.

are roster
are roster
4 years ago

1. Many, though not all, scientists believe that when you catch a low dose of corona, i.e., a low viral load, you will survive the disease and you will build antibodies toward it (in case you later catch a major dose of the virus). That being the case, outlawing minyanim, which thereby prevents people from catching a low dose of the virus, may ultimately be putting people at risk when, say in June, they go on a packed subway and catch a high dose of the virus.

2. There is a chance that next year the virus will morph, or pardon the expression, “evolve” into a more-virulent form. So young people catching it now may offer them some protection (See, Spanish Flu, wikipedia) . But stopping minyanim, even for young and healthy people, will prevent them from catching the relatively-benign Covid-19, subjecting them to a greater chance of them dying from Covid-20.

3. Attending minyanim, similar to attending mosque or church services, lehavdil, boosts heart health and the immune system (Google it). Those who caught the virus Purim time, needed the psychological, social and immunal benefits that minyanim provide. I fervently believe that many who died did so because their immune system was deactivated when they were expelled from shul. Do the risks of closing shul outweigh the benefits? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. But that question doesn’t seem to have been even considered by the doctors or the rabbanim.

4. When you close shuls, people develop an exaggerated perception of the lethality of the virus which causes a Nocebo effect. Many have noted the irony of the fact that the Novominsker Rebbe, who promoted the risks of the virus, himself died a few weeks later from the virus. It is no irony. His exaggerated fear of the virus may have contributed to his death.

5. When you bend the curve, you also extend the curve. This means that the elderly or obese (who are indeed rightfully quarantining themselves) will have to quarantine themselves for much longer, in order for the virus to fully flush itself out of the community. During this “cat-and-mouse” game that our community is playing with the virus, the elderly will be forced to continue to miss coronary checkups, dental visits, and cancer screenings. Doctors have argued that this phenomenon may cause more deaths than the virus itself. We owe it to the elderly to make minyanim in order that the virus leave the community (i.e., by developing herd immunity, which will develop as soon as 50-80% of the community catches the virus) as soon as possible.

6. True, doctors are worried – based on zero observed evidence – that minyanim (even outdoor minyanim!) will cause people to die of coronavirus. But these doctors don’t believe in shomer mitzvah loi yedah davar rah. We do. At this point, it is clear that attending a minyan isn’t schiach hezeika (unless he old or obese). Thus, no one will die from attending a minyan. But many will die, as argued above, when we ban minyanim.
It’s time to cut it out.

Harry
Harry
4 years ago

Who thinks this plague came from Heaven as a punishment for long sheitels, abundant chassenes, talking the truth about others etc. etc etc. is just a fool. Whoever thinks that things will not back to normal, i.e. long sheitels, abundant chassenes, talking the truth about others, etc. etc etc. is a bigger fool. This is a plague like there have been other plagues since the world was created. No one knows where it came from. We do know that it spreads by contact. That includes heilige Yidden who are obsessed with the need to daven together whatever the cost. At the end of this, we will be left with the clear, very clear, picture that many Yidden didn’t listen to so-called Daas Torah. If they didn’t listen when their lives were at stake, and less important of course, the lives of their neighbors, why should they listen any other time? So lets stop hearing about long sheitels, abundant chassenes, and so-called loshon hora, otherwise known as telling the truth about others. Let’s all live our lives as we want.

ANON21
ANON21
4 years ago

The nerve to talk like that!! They follow the rules more than they should. Porch minyanim are legal and been legal throughout this fiasco. The rabbonim were stricter than the law. Get your facts straight before you attack

#StopTheHate
#StopTheHate
4 years ago

Dr. Ditchek,

Thank you for all you do for the klal.
Please remember that the Gemara learns out from a Pasuk ורפא ירפא, that a doctor has permission to heal. Without the Torahs allowance, doctors have no permission to heal anyone.
Now, the Poskim, aka Torah, (and the State for matter) say that “porch minyanim” are safe and legal, which is after hearing from doctors their take on this issue. Although you disagree, you have no permission to do anything without the Torah and unfortunately the Torah, aka Poskim, disagree with you.
Please stop this hatred within our community and do what you have permission to do – heal people.

MB
MB
4 years ago

I’m not promoting porch minyanim, but could someone please explain to me what’s wrong with it. People are sitting on their own porches anyway. So what’s wrong if they just pull out a siddur?

Or maybe we shouldn’t allow people to do things with chesbonos. Who knows what people will do. So maybe that’s why the rabbis make a blanket statement (lo ploog rabbanan) not to have ANY minyanim.

Blame the women
Blame the women
4 years ago

Everything was a lot easier when we blamed the women’s tznius for every problem. Can we all just agree to go back to blaming them and move on?

Not a dr d fan
Not a dr d fan
4 years ago

Dr D
Maybe drive down to Lakewood and see how the porches are situated before you went off on your rant !!!
And yes thank you for discouraging your family from doing any shiduchim with mine !! Now I can say no to your children and not be a hater!!
Ps I can always send them on a koc trip to find a shidduch from the boys side ….
And roaming the hospitals to check on patients for their family’s is not considered pukkach nefesh , it’s a chesed …….