Who is Behind the New “Free the Agunah” Movement?

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City Council Candidate, Amber Adler and her children with Chava Sharabani whose plea to Dalia helped spawn the movement

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com

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Dalia Oziel is a singer, songwriter, and Instagram Influencer who has, apparently, started a revolution in how the Jewish community responds to Agunos.  Once, it was veritably impossible to speak about the dire situation of Agunos.  But now, the terrain has now changed.

It is not a good time for people to be withholding a Get right now (if it ever was).

Some Rabbis believe that withholding a Get is such a chillul Hashem at this point that it should not be an option evern where there is alleged alienation of a father. These Rabbis feel that a get should never be used as a threatening tool at all and that it is a grave chillul Hashem to do so.  “How can one keep a woman chained for so many years? Why should a man be allowed to extract cash from a woman and her family just to grant her a religious document allowing her to remarry?” is the new thinking.

The Five Towns Jewish Times spoke to Dalia Oziel who was the main game-changer in the new attitude toward helping Agunos.

RYH: There are so many new Agunah movements here. “Free Chava”, “Free Elizabeth”, Free etc..” and numerous people are attending rallies. Were there men present at the Save the Elizabeth rally as well, or was it just women?

DO: Yes, there were [men].  This has been a phenomenon that first started with women, but men, and Rabbis as well – have jumped on board.  This is now a klal Yisroel thing.

RYH: Who thought of the Mantra, “NO GET, NO PEACE! NO GET, NO PEACE?”

DO: I do not know, actually.

RYH How do you explain how it [the new movement] – got so viral?

DO: I think it is because people see that there were just regular normal people involved in this, just regular people out of nowhere – this caused many other people to be involved. Then, when everyone started speaking up – it motivated more and more people.  People then started getting involved themselves.

RYH: Is it true that you are also involved in Kiruv work, and do you think that this has had an effect in your involvement here?

DO: Yes, I do so in the summers. And, also, I give concerts for Kiruv organizations.  As far as whether this had an effect – while there was no direct connection per se – it clearly has to have [had] one – because you have to have your heart open to everyone and when one of the Agunos called – how could you say no, [to such a person]? How can you not help – especially since there was a psak from the Bais Din to spread it?

This is no longer about “Free Chava” – it transformed into Free Agunos – because everyone knows someone.  It could be relative, a friend from high school, a neighbor. Someone down the block.. Someone in shul, that you think is divorced but wasn’t.

RYH: When was the first time you came across an Agunah?

DO: It was just this past summer, and we did not even know she did not have a get.  This was something that was going on ten years..

RYH: Are there other Influencers involved in this [movement]?  Forgive my ignorance as to what Instagram Influencers means..

DO: It is not an exact term.  And, yes, they are all involved in it.  The big ones came on board first.  Then even smaller ones with between 200 and 1000 followers came on board.  But once again, this is all of Klal Yisroel being involved.

RYH: How do you ensure that you are not “backing the wrong side?”

DO:  This is a very hard question.  What we are doing is that we are relying on the Beit Dins in terms of issuing a seruv and the Rabbonim of that Beis Din to authorize our going public on social media.

RYH:  What about the secular media – are they getting involved?

DO:  We do our best not to involve the secular media.  We have already refused interviews with top media on this. Netflicks reached out to us and we said, “no.” There is a reason that we are keeping this only to Jewish influencers. Some are disagreeing with us on this because the secular media [has been shown as being] {is} so effective in getting a Get. True, this may get out to the secular press – but we aren’t the one’s doing it.  We are following the psakim of the Beit Dins about putting it on social media.

RYH: What about the Chillul hashem factor?

DO: We are focusing on the desired outcome – it is definitely a chillul hashem – but it is on the person who is refusing to listen to the Beit Din.  The fact that there are abusers is the chillul Hashem.  This is abusing the Torah.  Us witnessing this chillul hashem is what is motivating Klal Yisroel to speak up and react.

RYH:  What was your proudest moment recently – after this movement went so viral?

DO: The fact that there was a woman who was an Agunah for 17 years and that person [her husband] went ahead and married another woman.  That second wife was encouraged to come forward when the husband had physically abused wife number two and at least one child.  Anyway, the family is safer now  – because of this movement and the first wife got her Get.  To see these results are truly emotional.

RYH:  Are there repercussions beyond these individual cases?  Are you seeing a sea-change in attitudes?

DO:  Boruch Hashem, there are.  There is a word called, “synergy” – which means one plus one equals three. It means two people – being able to lift together more than either of them could have lifted alone added up together.  That is what is happening here.

The power in numbers is unbelievable.  This is not just women now, it is a number of men as well.  People are seeing the power of social media now.

RYH:  What are your thoughts on the fact that this “Free the Agunah” Movement is coming from women?

DO: I do want to point out that it may have started with the women, but there are soo many men and Rabbonim on board now – so it may have started with women, but this is no longer the case.

Also, there are also so many midrashim that point out how women took the first step and encouraged men to get on board too.  There is the wife of Ohn Ben Pelet who tried to get her husband out of the rebellion of Korach..And that worked.  That is why his name is mentioned in the beginning of Parshat Korach, but not later on.  There is Avigayil –  who convinced Dovid HaMelech to change his mind and he saw that she was right.

RYH: Do you think that there are some men who are chaining their ex-wives that are running scared now?

DO:  Each case is very different.  But definitely, before the “Storming of Social Media” that has been transpiring here – there was no social pressure.  Now there is. And a lot of people are running scared that they will be next.

RYH:  Is there a team here, or is it mostly just one or two people?

DO:  There is a definitely a team. And they are interviewing, and going through cases one by one.  I want to mention Shira Stern from Monsey there is also Yael Braun.  Both of their work here is so integral, and there are so many other people too.

RYH:  Are there any words that you want to say to the other Agunos out there?

DO:  Yes, definitely.  First of all, you should all know that there is an expression [in the slichot] that says, “yeshu’at Hashem k’heref ayin – Hashem saves us in the blink of an eye.”

So, [Agunot out there] – continue davening – everyone, should be davening and saying tehillim because a tefilah is never wasted. The tears you shed now could help you, they could help another Agunah.

But also you should know that Klal Yisroel, all of Klal Yisroel – women and men, are looking out for you.  It is so wrong when people try to take advantage of Torah halachot to extract money and revenge on others.  We know of so many gedolim that tried to help past agunot.  There is a famous story with Rabbi Akiva Eiger – ask your Rav about it.

RYH:  Well, thank you so much.

DO: Thank you!

The author can be reached at [email protected]

[photo credit Anna Rathkopf]


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HershelfromtheUSofA
HershelfromtheUSofA
3 years ago

These women are amazing.

These men who refuse to give a get are krum and they manipulate the system.
These women know that and fight them on their turf. They are showing results.
If they didn’t play tough, these agunas would be still chained.
Tough times call for tough measures, but these women do it al pi halacha.
May they go m’chayil l’chayil.

Moshe
Moshe
3 years ago

It’s about time someone with guts is doing a something about this Magaifah
Let’s start a go fund me page to help these poor chained woman
The legal fees alone can bankrupt a whole family

Just Sayin'
Just Sayin'
3 years ago

I was the shadchan for a couple. There was discord almost from day one. The husband filed for a civil divorce and the divorce was granted. He refuses to give a Get. He has also threatened all Dayanim with personal defamation suits – thus scaring everyone away. The wife is 8 years without a Get. He had his day in court – the court ruled. Of course he is appealing the court ruling – but he is civilly divorced. But now he has exposed an open wound in the Jewish community. The concern and expense of fighting a civil defamation suit by a Get refuser is tying up many Beis Dins. I hope you can respond to this problem. Bracha V’Hatzlacha.

charliehall
charliehall
3 years ago

Rabbi Willig is now the senior dayan at the Beth Din of America. He tells a story about a get refuser. He had never paid a lot of attention to agunah issues until he discovered that there was a get refuser in his shul. He immediately instituted the harchakot of Rabbeinu Tam. I know someone who was ordered to disinvite him from a family simcha. The man went to every other synagogue in Riverdale but they all complied with Rabbi Willig.

Eventually the man relented and gave his wife the get. Rabbi Willig ordered the gabbai to see that the man received shlishi the following Shabbat.

Conservative Carl
Conservative Carl
3 years ago

If there are two sides to the story, why can’t the men be bothered to show up to Beis Din to explain theirs?

From The Outside
From The Outside
3 years ago

There might be some men who will withstand the social pressure but most will probably not. I think it will also have an impact on ongoing divorce negotiations to pressure men to not go down this line. This solution is more effective for the recalcitrant husband.

The extremely prevalent problem of the woman not willing to accept a get unless the husband forgoes the right to ever see his children, unreasonable demands, fake charges of abuse, etc. will sadly continue.

Even after the get, fathers have to wear body cameras to dispute claims of abuse when picking up children, etc. Even Rabbonim are misled by crying women claiming all kinds of things.

I don’t know numbers, but there are quite a lot of people wrong on both sides. At least part of the problem is being solved.

Judith
Judith
3 years ago

After posting and responding to articles over the last few days , I have have come to a sad and surprising conclusion , that not all Jews are on board with a wife’s right to a get . People invoke all kinds of excuses , even if accusations against the wife are debunked in Jewish court . Cruelty is forgiven and encouraged with no evidence of being deserved . I get accused of being a Jewish goy , when in fact some heartless people here are like Amalek .

ruby
ruby
3 years ago

a very painful issue for all
Question? apples & oranges , we can agree that not all cases are equal .

in the ny metro area how many of these stories are there ( after a year of attempted negotiations , and the woman not asking for support , and not demanding full custody)

e.g.
e.g.
3 years ago

The women closed the only mikveh until the Get was given. That was how they got things done in Europe.

David
David
3 years ago

Maybe all sides can learn for the UK experience. For years people thought that not much could be done about the agunah situation until one particular agunah found a lawyer for whom halacha was of no concern. He pointed out that the entire ‘Halachic Divorce’ process could be considered abusive under UK Domestic Abuse legislation so that any spouse who uses or even attempts to use halacha to influence, reverse or undermine a secular court’s decision without the other spouse’s consent is liable to prosecution for ‘coercive control’.  What this means is that if a wife is granted a civil divorce, the husband must grant a Get on those terms.  If the Beis Din ask him whether he has been compelled by a secular court to give a Get (which may render the Get invalid) he must lie and tell the Beis Din that he is willing the Get on his own free will).  If a husband succeeds in persuading his wife to go to a beis din and she acts according to its recommendations, there is nothing to stop her later changing her mind (eg requiring ‘blackmail’ money to be repaid). It is no less coercive control in making her hand over money for a Get then by threatening to scar her face! If the husband then complains to the beis din that the wife did not follow their recommendation and that she should be penalized in some way, that complaint itself is considered domestic abuse. The penalty for domestic abuse is 5 years prison.  A number of recalcitrant husbands have been threatened with prosecution however because they did not fancy risking jail time, they all gave in and this lawyer’s opinion has not been tested in court although most lawyers think the lawyer is correct.

crazy times
crazy times
3 years ago

so the leftist goyishe cancel culture has an upside?
well, well, this is certainly not the way our zeidys used to do it, cattle prods and all

Educated Archy
Educated Archy
3 years ago

Chilul hashem could be on the mom if she denies the kids and is the instigator.
Not an excuse to withhold a get for 10 years but 1 year with covid in between its valid

MP
MP
3 years ago

Wondering eho she uses for Daas Torah

Judith
Judith
3 years ago

I admire her efforts , but she’s overly optimistic . In reality , most get with holders don’t get fazed by public pressure .